Delusional Reality
by Erendyce
Summary: When asked out by a girl on a date, Kagami finds himself going to Himuro for advice, unaware of the true nature of the feelings the Yosen player bears for him. In the end, they may just end up hurting each other. HimuKaga.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : **And I'm back with another KnB story, requested by calloutyoru and re-interpreted by me (not sure that's what you had in mind but that's how it came out on the paper -_-) Enjoy!

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_"I no longer knew what was real and what wasn't. The lines between reality and delusion had become so blurred."_  
― A.B. Shepherd, The Beacon

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**Chapter One**

Ever since he first asked Kagami to play basketball back then in the US, Himuro had watched him. He had watched him miss his first shots, watched him play his first matches in the streetball court, watched him improve amazingly quickly as he taught him how to dribble and shoot properly, with that vague and lingering feeling that one day, the wild tiger could very well surpass him and leave him behind. It was a fear which he had always kept silent and which would sometimes poke him, leaving an unpleasant touch of uneasiness behind. Needless to say, he had been overly happy when the both of them had agreed to call each other 'brother' and had sealed the oath of brotherhood with a ring which he treasured more than the most precious gem. By doing so, Himuro had insured that his little brother would always stay close to him, and he would be able to keep watching him.

In spite of this, he was a sensible man enough to know that it wouldn't last eternally, and his predictions had turned right when Kagami took that fated plane to Japan and flew away from him, right after that farcical match. Himuro didn't resent him for it – never had and never would – for he knew that the strength of their bond would allow them to cross paths again. He had been proven right again not so long after, upon joining Yosen High School, and had been delighted to see that Kagami Taiga was still as fierce and fiery as ever. And was still calling him his brother.

"Hey, you're spacing out." A loud voice dragged him back to the reality of a streetball court and a certain tiger dribbling in front of him.

"Am I now?" he questioned back with a smile. "You should have seized your chance to score then, Taiga. Because you won't be getting any other."

"Heh, I don't rely on chance to beat you." Kagami replied, his mouth stretching into a cocky smirk.

Himuro narrowed his eyes and watched. He watched the swift movements of Kagami's muscles as he dribbled, the slight frown creasing his forehead as he was thinking how to get past him, the tiny drops of sweat beading on the tips of his hair, and as always, that intense look in his eyes reflecting his determination.

Unaware of the scrutiny which he was the target of, Kagami pushed on his feet and dropped his defensive stance to sprint forward, deftly dodging Himuro's arm and heading for the basket. Half a second later, he was in the air, the ball in his right hand ready to be dunked through the loop.

"Not yet, Taiga!"

The Yosen shooting guard sprung between Kagami and the basket, teeth gritted and an arm stretched to the ball. There was no way he'd let Kagami score so easily; yet at the last second, the redhead changed the ball's trajectory and switched it to his left hand before smashing it into the basket.

A heavy thump was heard as both players landed on the ground at the same time, followed by the ball which rolled to Himuro's feet. The latter picked it up.

"What do you think of that?" Kagami beamed, with both fists on his hips.

The other teen smiled, acknowledging defeat. People were often mesmerized by his basketball style, cool and collected, stating that his form was absolutely perfect from every angle; but to him, Kagami's form wasn't any less perfect. It was explosive, passionate and maybe too rough according to some; still, there was a balance and mastery within that outbreak of power which made Kagami's every action beautiful to watch, and the pinnacle of perfection was reached when Kagami entered the Zone. During those moments, all known and unknown cataclysms could befall the entire world that Himuro would still choose to watch Kagami play. He could never get tired of it, even after the defeat at the Winter Cup.

"Your left hand control has greatly improved, Taiga." he praised, noting the genuine satisfaction on the redhead's face.

"Thanks, but you almost got me there. If you had been serious, I'd probably have missed that one."

Himuro patted his shoulder. "Don't be so modest. It's a fact that you've improved on every angle since our days in America. I should really stop calling myself your big brother." he replied with a chuckle.

The tone was light enough to conceal the traces of melancholy behind, yet Kagami frowned at those words.

"Hey, I already told you... I don't mind at all if we could just keep staying brothers, you know." Seirin's power forward said as he scratched his head, embarrassed. His eyes mechanically lowered to the ring around Himuro's neck. "I mean, I owe you for introducing me to basketball after all. It doesn't really matter who's better, does it?"

A soft smile appeared on the shorter player. "You're right. And we've already settled this in a previous conversation, haven't we? I'm sorry, I was being stupid again. Another round?" he offered, making the ball spin on his finger.

"I was stupid too." Kagami grinned. "Bring it on!"

The afternoon saw both boys playing to their hearts' content, amidst the screeches of shoes on concrete, the sound of the ball bouncing repeatedly and the laughter. By the time streaks of orange started searing the sky, both players were breathless, spent and incredibly happy.

"We should do that again, Tatsuya." Kagami declared, picking up his bottle of water on the bench.

"Any time, Taiga." Himuro replied. "You know, it reminds me a bit of America. We used to play almost every day like this, even when it was raining."

"That's because Alex was a real dictator about our training." Kagami groaned. "Damn, speaking of rain, I wish we had some now. It's freaking hot." he added, removing his T-shirt with a grimace.

Almost automatically, the Yosen player looked away, pretending to be busy putting his bottle back into his bag. The last thing he needed to see was Kagami's muscles flex at the slightest movement, sweat dripping on them and sliding down every curve as if to remind Himuro that his friend's body was exceptionally gorgeous, really, just in case he happened to forget. And the explanation to his high awareness of Kagami was simple.

For he had long gone past the stage of considering Kagami Taiga as a mere friend, or even a brother. After spending all those years watching him grow from the cub he used to be to the proud tiger he was today, wasn't it a natural development for his feelings to grow similarly from friendship to something much stronger? At least it was what Himuro believed, and therefore he wasn't too much troubled by it. It sometimes pained him a little that his Taiga didn't seem to see him that way; to him, they were brothers and that was it. It didn't really matter. Himuro would gladly bury his feelings away for the sake of their friendship. And he was currently doing a good job at it.

"Wanna come to my place for dinner?" Kagami offered, catching the towel which Himuro tossed at him. "Thanks."

"The offer's tempting, but I promised Atsushi to help him study tonight, so I have to go back to the dorms."

"Oh, fine then. Hopefully I won't find Alex in my bed when I come back." the redhead added sullenly, earning a chuckle from the other boy. "I was hoping you could drive her off."

"You're probably the only guy on earth who dislikes having a fine woman in his bed."

"Believe me, you'd freak out too if she suddenly popped up at your place and walked around naked."

"Coming from her, it hardly surprises me." Himuro replied, amused.

"Hey, I could tell her to crash at your place."

"I share a room with Atsushi in Yosen's dorms, Taiga. And as much as I'm used to her strange habits, I'm sure he is not."

"I don't get how you can be used to that." Kagami shook his head as he put his T-shirt back on and grabbed his bag. "I mean, the first time she did that, everyone from Seirin was there too, and I think they were all about to kill me, thinking she was my g-girlfriend or something."

Himuro stifled back a chuckle upon hearing Kagami stutter. As expected, he was still as innocent and clueless as ever whenever it came to girls, and it wasn't Alex who was going to help him on that matter. As they exited the court, he suddenly asked:

"Would you like to have a girlfriend, Taiga?"

Unsurprisingly, the Seirin player choked at the question.

"I-I haven't really thought of that. I'm just fine with having friends." he replied nervously.

"And basketball."

"Of course!"

Himuro smiled again. "Well then, I need to catch my bus. Let's have another match soon."

"Yeah, I'll call you." Kagami replied, grinning.

They bumped fists before walking their separate ways, both looking forward to the next time.

* * *

The next time they met, however, was not to play basketball. The Yosen player was waiting by the gates of his school, his back against the wall and hands stuffed in his pockets. Crowds of students were exiting the premises, some heading for the dorms, others to hang out with friends, others back home. Himuro paid little attention to them, his mind bearing more important preoccupations. It was quite rare for Kagami to ask to see him after school for something other than basket, therefore it was with mild curiosity that he gazed at the redhead who was hurrying to him, waving at him like a kid. Outside the basketball court, there was always something childlike in Kagami's every gesture which Himuro was very fond of, for it gave his Tiger a somewhat cute side, even though he was probably the only one to think so.

"Yo Tatsuya, 'sup?" Kagami greeted when they were close enough.

"Good afternoon, Taiga." the other replied with his usual smile. "So, what brings you to my school? I hope you don't want to watch us train, because our coach won't even let you close to the gym." he added jokingly.

Strangely enough, Kagami merely looked away and Himuro had to blink twice to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating: his Taiga was actually _blushing_.

"No, uh, I didn't come for that, uh... A-Actually..." The power forward started glancing around him rather nervously, which only serve to increase Himuro's confusion. "Could we, uh, go to some quieter place?"

The dark-haired boy frowned, but nodded. "Let's go inside the school then." he replied, motioning to Kagami to follow him.

They walked a bit further away from the packs of students in awkward silence. Now Himuro was really curious; what exactly was making Kagami so embarrassed that he'd want no one to hear them? And what was so urgent that he couldn't tell him over the phone?

"Is here OK?" Himuro asked, to which Kagami nodded.

"Y-Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"So, care to tell me what's troubling you so much?" Himuro inquired patiently.

Kagami scratched his cheek at the question, avoiding his friend's gaze.

"I actually need a favour." he finally let out.

"Is that all?" Himuro asked, genuinely surprised. "You know you can ask me anything, there's no need to be so shy about it."

"Yeah well actually, it's kind of a, uh, weird favour."

Himuro smiled. "Thanks to Alex, I'm pretty used to anything weird now, so go ahead and ask."

"But this is _really _weird."

"Try me."

"I, uh, you see, uh... Ah, damn it! Why is it so fucking complicated?" Kagami exclaimed, tousling his own hair in annoyance.

A hand rested gently on his shoulder.

"Take your time, Taiga. If it's too complicated, maybe you'd want to think over it a bit more before telling me?"

"No, no, it's not like that. I mean, I've thought enough about it but it doesn't make it easier to say." The redhead sighed. "I'm not even sure where to start, to be honest."

"Then may I suggest in a very unoriginal fashion that you start at the beginning?"

"The beginning... right." Kagami's cheeks were still a deep shade of pink and Himuro had to fight a pressing urge to actually pinch them. "I suppose the beginning would be when that girl asked me out today." he mumbled almost inaudibly.

Himuro's heart made a sudden somersault in his chest, though not in a good way. On the outside, he looked as composed as ever; however, each of his limbs was frozen stiff. He must have misheard, he told himself. Kagami was still refusing to look at him. With his best smile and his most natural tone, the Yosen player managed to articulate:

"And? You said yes?"

"I-Idiot! I can't say yes just like that!" Kagami replied, sounding almost panicked. "I-I mean, she's nice and all b-but–"

"You're fine with just having friends." Himuro finished for him, patting his shoulder and expecting his friend to nod.

Too bad his expectations were crushed so soon.

"Actually..." The redhead scratched his cheek again. "I told her to wait a bit for my answer." he went on, still avoiding Himuro's gaze. The shorter boy's grip tightened ever so lightly on Kagami's shoulder, though the latter didn't seem to notice.

"Why so?" Himuro asked, faking composure to the perfection.

Silence.

"Taiga?"

"Promise me you won't laugh or anything." Now Kagami looked more embarrassed as ever.

"I promise."

The Seirin power forward inhaled deeply, then opened his mouth:

"I've no idea how to date someone." he confessed, looking utterly dejected.

Himuro blinked several times at him, speechless for the span of a minute. Anyone in his situation would have probably laughed, or at least giggled; but right now he was in every mood but one for laughing. He sighed, then asked the question which he perfectly knew the answer to:

"And? What do you need me for then?"

"Please teach me how to date someone!" Kagami blurted out, his eyes finally landing on Himuro. There, he had said it.

Among all favours to ask, that one was probably the last one Himuro would have expected to hear from the mouth of his little brother. In his mind, Kagami was the kind of person to abide only by one passion, to commit only to one cause – namely basketball. The mere thought of him being actually interested in a girl had hardly crossed his mind. Unless the girl was a basketball freak, which he doubted. And now he was tasting the bitterness of reality. A reality where his Taiga was starting to act like any other normal teen his age. It wasn't surprising, after all, but the realization didn't make it less unpleasant.

"Why are you asking me?" he questioned with a hint of weariness in his tone. "Why not Alex? She's a woman, after all."

"B-Because I figured if there's anyone here who could teach me, it's you! I basically told the girl to give me till the end of the month so I could have some time to learn a thing or two. I mean, I've no clue how you deal with a girl, all I know is basketball! And since you've always been the popular one even in America, I thought you'd be able to help me. And about Alex, for some reason I don't see anything good coming out from asking that woman." Kagami added with a clearly disillusioned tone.

Himuro would have probably found the last remark funny, were the circumstances any different. Nevertheless, he forced himself to keep a smiling face.

"Taiga, I'm not sure what exactly you think I did in America, but I've only dated one girl in my entire life, and it lasted two months." There was no need to specify that those two months were the months which had followed Kagami's departure. Or that the girl had left him after accusing him of not being serious enough about her. Well, no shit Sherlock.

"But you're naturally good with people. Kuroko keeps saying I'm a catastrophe when it comes to dealing with girls." Kagami admitted reluctantly, suddenly remembering a painful event involving Momoi crying over a certain Aomine in Seirin's gym.

"Knowing you, I have no trouble believing it." Himuro chuckled, much to the other boy's annoyance. "But what exactly could I teach you that Kuroko or any other of your teammates could not?"

At the question, Kagami turned a shade redder, if that was even possible.

"W-Well you know, for example, uh, k-kissing and stuff like that." he mumbled. "I'd need you to help me... train with that or something. You're the only one I can ask." If it had been possible, Kagami would have probably sunk to the centre of the Earth.

This time, the dark-haired boy found it impossible to remain impassive. His body betrayed him for a very short second during which his eyes turned round and his heart made a particularly powerful leap in his chest. He felt blood rush to his head. _'Do you even have the faintest idea of what you're asking of me? What you're doing to me?'_ No, of course Kagami didn't. His empathy level had always been about as low as his jumps were high.

The next second he was back to normal, and the redhead hadn't noticed a damn thing. Himuro sighed. His Taiga was progressively getting out of his reach, it seemed, yet it was still time to catch him back before he drifted too far way. He could simply persuade Kagami that dating a girl wasn't such a good idea; he wouldn't have time for her, being the crazy basket addict he was. He should focus on winning the Winter Cup and the next Inter High while he could still afford it. Kagami considered him his big brother; he'd listen to what his big brother said, wouldn't he? It was despicably selfish, but if it meant keeping Taiga close to him, then he was ready to bear all the vices of the world.

However, another thought was slowly struggling its way to the Yosen student's head. An even less honourable thought. There were a bit more than two weeks left before the end of the month. It was short, but at this point he was ready to take anything. And do anything. Even if it implied using Kagami to satisfy his own unhealthy desires. Even if he knew perfectly well that it'd be but an ephemeral illusion. If he was going to lose him anyway, then he may as well use the little time given to him to pretend that Kagami was once his.

"I'll teach you." he said.

Despicable, really.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Himuro's dark side, or something. HimuKaga is a pairing I really like (among others) so I hope you won't be disappointed with this story! It'll have around four chapters or so.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I completely forgot that Yosen High School is nowhere near Tokyo, but for the sake of this story, let's assume it is *fails greatly*

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**Chapter 2**

Kagami glanced at his watch only to click his tongue as only one minute had passed since the last time he checked the time. What was he so anxious about? Today, Himuro would only teach him the basics of how to behave towards a girl, nothing else. And yet, his legs kept having him pacing back and forth nervously in his flat. Considering the level of agitation he was in now, he didn't dare imagine what state he'd be in when facing the girl who had asked him out. Perhaps it was a mistake, after all. Perhaps it'd be easier to cancel everything and to just say 'no' to her. But he really wanted to give it a try; he had never been shown such interest before from anyone and saying he didn't feel flattered would be a bold lie. Even back in the US, the big star was Himuro, not him. Oh, he didn't mind at all, really, since he had never been interested in being in a relationship, and in all honesty, the last thing he wanted was packs of girls screeching his name hysterically every time he scored (Himuro was a saint for bearing with those). His life revolved around the sun that was basketball, and never once had he thought it could be otherwise.

Until that girl from the class next door came to him, all shy and blushing, to tell him she had watched all of Seirin's matches and she really liked him. Needless to say, his first reaction was to stare at her in disbelief, which could have been misinterpreted as sheer rudeness if not for Kuroko whacking his head and stating as-a-matter-of-factly that she was waiting for an answer. If Kagami were to qualify the first feeling that surged within him, it'd be curiosity.

He was curious about who that girl was, how she knew him and why him. If she had watched all the matches, then surely she would have found a better target to set her eyes on. Kise, for example. The guy was a model and part of the Generation of Miracles, after all, and a big hit among the female population. But no, the girl had asked him, Kagami Taiga, out. And upon noticing his hesitation, she had kindly told him he didn't need to give her an answer straight away.

The rest happened in the blink of an eye: a promise to answer by the end of the month, a following state of panic, an illumination and a phone call to Himuro.

And now here he was, waiting for him to come in order to start lesson one. His phone buzzed. The screen displayed 'Tatsuya'. With mild apprehension, he read the text message.

'_Will be there in 15 min, there's traffic and the bus is stuck.'_

Kagami flipped his phone closed with a silent groan. If he had known that Himuro would be late, he wouldn't have rushed back home after school so quickly. Not like he could help it anyway; therefore he resigned himself to learn a bit of patience while killing time with a basketball magazine, comfortably settled on his couch. However, after realizing that he was merely flipping the pages without even paying attention to the content, he gave up with a loud sigh and leant his head backward on the sofa. Really, what was he so nervous about? Himuro was his closest friend, almost family; if there was someone who could understand him and help him without any prejudice, it was him. It'd be fine, and Himuro had promised to start gradually to leave him enough time to learn properly. Hopefully two weeks would be enough.

The redhead almost sprang from his seat upon hearing the doorbell and within ten seconds, he was welcoming the Yosen player inside.

"Thanks for coming, and sorry for the bother. Want something to drink?" Kagami offered as the other teen put his schoolbag down and removed his coat.

"Water will do, and it's no bother at all." Himuro smiled. "I'll never get used to how big your flat is." he added on a side note.

"Yeah? Well, my dad was supposed to live here too, but in the end I was the only one who flew back to Japan." Kagami explained as he picked a bottle of water from the fridge and filled a glass. "Hey, you could actually live here instead, it'd more fun with you around and you could help me kick Alex out whenever she decides to ninja her way in."

"It'd be fun, indeed." Himuro merely replied, and his tone sounded strangely distant to Kagami's ears. His imagination, probably.

"Here, water." The latter handed his friend the glass. "How was school today?"

"Thank you. And school wasn't too bad." The dark-haired male answered before taking a sip.

"Good, then."

"Yes."

Silence settled between them, bathing them for a span of a second in the most awkward of atmosphere. Being the well-known novice at words, Kagami had absolutely no idea how to bring the fated topic into the discussion. Fortunately Himuro seemed to have more skills in that area.

"Can we go sit? Then we can begin the lesson." he suggested.

"Oh, uh, sure!" Kagami replied hurriedly, heading for the couch where Himuro followed him.

The latter sat down, keeping the glass between his hands. He seemed as composed as ever, Kagami noticed; that was a trait he knew he'd never have, not even after a thousand years of training. At this moment, his fingers were laced, arms resting on his thighs and his entire body as tense as before his first official match.

"Relax, Taiga." Himuro encouraged him gently. "The first obstacle you'll have to pass is that nervousness of yours. Girls like it when their boyfriends are confident, it makes them feel secure."

"Uh, OK."

"We'll start with fundamentals today. But since I've no idea how much of a disaster you are with girls, I think the best way for you is to pretend I'm your girlfriend and to act accordingly. Then I'll correct you if you do something wrong."

Kagami almost jumped at those words, his cheeks suddenly taking on a faint shade of pink. He turned his eyes to Himuro who was gazing at him, imperturbable, as if asking his spiritual brother to consider him his girlfriend was the most natural request ever.

"A-Are you sure about that? I thought you'd just give me some tips or something, like what kind of stuff I should say or not. I-I mean, you don't really look like her or–"

"Look doesn't matter, Taiga. And you learn best through practice. This is just an exercise, so don't feel too embarrassed by it, OK?" Himuro smiled, with a smile that rendered Kagami unable to say no. He nodded.

"Good. Now let's start with basic set-ups and assume this is our first date together, in a park for instance. What would you talk about?"

Not exactly expecting to get so straight to the topic, Kagami was left wordless for a few seconds. Then he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, thinking hard. What would he talk about? Well, obviously...

"I'd ask you if you play basketball since you watched all of our matches." he replied, though as he saw the mitigated expression Himuro pulled, he immediately deduced that this was probably not the expected answer.

The Yosen player shook his head with a small sigh, though his lips still displayed an amused smile.

"No, Taiga. You need to forget about basketball for a moment here. Basket is _your_ passion, not mine. You have to ask me about _my_ passions, because it shows that you're interested in knowing me better."

"But you have to like basket, why else would you come and watch our matches?" Kagami asked, frowning, which earned him a sigh.

"You should have more self-awareness, Taiga." Himuro replied. "Some girls don't come to matches because they like the sport, you know?"

Kagami stared dumbly at his friend, not understanding.

"Then why? I'd be completely bored to hell if I had to go watch stuff I'm not interested in."

"The players, Taiga, the _players._"

"What about them?"

This time, Himuro patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"Your cluelessness amazes me, little bro." he said, though without an ounce of malice. "I'll be more explicit then: most girls come for the players. If you played baseball, they'd come to see you play baseball. If you played soccer, they'd come to see you play soccer. It's _you_ they're interested in, not the sport you practice."

"Oh." was all Kagami found to answer. He was still partly dubious, though, but it was he who had requested Himuro to help him and the least he could do was to trust him. "OK."

"Then let's resume. What I'd like very much is for you to show interest in me, to ask me what I like, what I don't like and ideally to say that you also like what I like."

"But that's a pain!"

"Exactly." Himuro replied, chuckling. "But if you really like me, then you should think of me first before thinking of yourself. It's part of the basics."

Kagami flushed, even though he knew that they were only pretending. _If I like you enough, I'll think of you first before thinking of myself,_ he repeated in his head. It felt strange yet not unpleasant, having Himuro in front of him while bearing such thoughts. _OK, if Tatsuya's the one teaching me, then maybe I can do it after all._

The next half an hour passed surprisingly quickly, though the Seirin player would be lying if he said he didn't feel relieved when Himuro called it a day. In a way, it had been fun practicing common situations, even though most of what he had learnt seemed fairly illogical to him, to which Himuro had replied wisely that there was nothing logical when feelings were involved.

"Wanna stay for dinner?" the redhead offered as the other teen stood up and stretched his arms.

"Sorry to decline again, but it's getting late and I don't want to miss the curfew."

"Oh, OK. Another day then." Kagami replied, slightly disappointed.

"Well, tomorrow is Saturday, which should be an excellent opportunity for you to practice under more realistic conditions, what do you think?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean that you could take me out on an actual date." Himuro explained, his typical smile on. The tone he used sounded so natural that Kagami wondered for a moment how he managed to pull the trick. The redhead, on the other hand, failed completely at hiding his confusion.

"A-A date?! You mean, a real date? Outside?"

"Naturally." Himuro replied, unfazed.

Kagami gulped silently. Was he serious? But people would see them, wouldn't they? And they would certainly not believe that those two would only be practicing... Apparently, the Yosen player seemed to have read his mind for he added reassuringly:

"I swear I won't act all lovey-dovey with you, if that's what you're afraid of."

The power forward looked away, blushing, and scratched his head. After all, Himuro was really taking his request to heart and was willing to take over his free time to help him; it would be rude not to invest at least as much effort as him, wouldn't it?

"The coach planned some practice for us in the morning, but in the afternoon it should be OK." he finally answered with a firm nod.

"Very well, then how about we meet at 2 in front of the fountain next to the station?"

"OK." Kagami nodded again.

Himuro grabbed his coat and bag and headed for the door, followed by Kagami. The Yosen player opened the door but as he was about to step outside, he paused for a second before turning back to the redhead.

"What is it?" the latter inquired.

"There's one last thing I should teach you to conclude today's lesson." Himuro replied gently, his uncovered silver eye plunging straight into Kagami's.

Unsettled by the somewhat troubling gaze on him, the power forward found himself frozen on the spot as a hand silently reached for his cheek. He didn't know how, but at that very moment, he knew what was coming next, as if enlightened by a natural instinct which he had never really bothered listening to until now. It was probably the very same instinct which was responsible for his heart suddenly racing and pounding stupidly against his chest, for the blood suddenly rushing to his head and for the shudder suddenly seizing his entire body.

And then something warm touched his lips, ever so lightly yet enough for him to feel as if he had tasted fire. It was over before he could even blink once, and all that was left was a burning trail on his lips and a dizzying haze clouding his senses. A peck, that was all it was, so chaste it could hardly be called a kiss, and yet it was already indelibly imprinted in his mind. The hand on his cheek was already no more and by the time he came back to this world, Himuro had already stepped back, a faint smile on his face.

"I'll teach you properly in a next lesson." he said softly. "See you tomorrow, Taiga. Don't forget, 2 pm at the fountain, OK?"

"... Oh, huh, yeah. T-Tomorrow. Right." Kagami stuttered, trying vainly to gather his thoughts.

"Good night, Taiga."

"Yeah, you too. And uh, Tatsuya."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for the help, bro. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Taiga."

The door closed, allowing Kagami to lean his back on it. He exhaled slowly before slapping both his cheeks as if to wake himself up. He couldn't allow himself to get so disoriented if he wanted to learn properly how to date someone. Well, the whole purpose of asking Himuro to teach him was to gain confidence in himself so that he didn't end up with his legs wobbling every time he kissed someone.

His resolve once again strengthened, he headed for the kitchen, unaware of the fact that on the other side of the door, someone was still there, in a hardly better state.

* * *

Himuro was standing, immobile, the tip of his fingers on his lips, his face flushed and his mind a confused mess. He had told himself not to make a bold move at such an early stage; and yet, his self-control had started eroding at every second he spent in Kagami's apartment. It didn't help when Kagami had innocently suggested that he came and lived there; it had taken everything he had not to take the offer seriously. And by the end of the session, his aforementioned self-control was but a thin string which could have hold if it hadn't been for his inner demon suddenly taking over him and driving him to act stupidly. And now he was utterly regretting it, for it had been nowhere near satisfying. The tease of his lips brushing against Kagami's, the fleeting feeling of Kagami's soft breath, the quick and strong pace of Kagami's heartbeat that faded too quickly, all of those had left the Yosen player both incredibly excited and frustrated at the same time. Whoever said he wasn't a greedy person couldn't be more wrong; when it came to Kagami, he was the embodiment of greed itself, shackled only by Kagami's brotherly feelings for him. But now that the Seirin player had opened the gates of temptation, there was nothing left for him but to cross them and lay hand on what he had always silently been longing for.

'_Thanks for the help, bro.'_

Himuro's lips curled up into a sad smile. Kagami had probably no idea that everything Himuro was doing wasn't for his sake, but for his own selfish desires. _'I'm the worst.'_

He wasn't fooling himself, though. He only had two weeks, two meagre weeks before losing Kagami to the hands of another; it would never be enough to sate him entirely, he knew it, but it was already more than what he could ever have hoped to obtain.

And when those two weeks were over, he'd be left with only an evanescent reminiscence of an illusory happiness.

* * *

Kagami sat down on the bench in the locker room with a loud thump, sweat-drenched, next to Kuroko who was busy gulping down a bottle of water.

"Geez, even on a Saturday she can't go easy on us." he commented, cracking his neck.

"It was you guys' fault for asking her to hold practice sessions on weekends, to begin with." Kuroko replied with his usual ghostly tone.

A cheerful laugh echoed in the gym, belonging to none other than the Seirin centre, namely Kiyoshi Teppei. The latter sat down next to Kagami and gave him a strong pat on the back.

"It's because basket is fun! Who doesn't want to do fun things on weekends?" he said merrily.

"Speaking of fun," Izuki intervened, "Mitobe, Kogane and I were thinking of eating together. Wanna join? We plan to go to a karaoke or something afterward!"

"Oh? Sounds interesting. I'm in, then! You're coming too, Hyuga!" Kiyoshi answered.

The Seirin captain, who was busy getting dressed, glared at Kiyoshi.

"Don't decide for me! But I suppose I can join, yeah." he muttered.

"Kuroko?"

"Yes, it sounds like a nice idea."

"Excellent! Kagami?"

"I'll pass. I have something planned this afternoon." the power forward replied.

"Oooh, what is it, what is it?" Kogane inquired.

"Nothing important, I'm just meeting up with Tatsuya." Kagami explained, slightly annoyed.

"By Tatsuya, you mean that Yosen guy, right?" Hyuga asked. "Don't tell me you plan to play more basket with him, you basket-freak."

A vein popped on Kagami's temple. "I'm not a basket freak! And no, we aren't gonna play." he snapped dryly. "We're just gonna... hang out together." he added with a lower voice, fingers fidgeting discreetly. He mentally thanked the practice session for leaving his face red and thus, hiding the very light blush on his cheeks.

"Well, you haven't seen each other in ages, so I guess it's normal to want to meet once in a while." Kiyoshi smiled, patting Kagami's back again.

"Are you just really going to hang out?" Kuroko inquired, staring strangely at Kagami.

"What do you mean?" the latter asked back, on the defensive.

"Nothing."

Kagami could only frown as his shadow finished getting dressed before exiting the locker room.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, Kagami was the first one to arrive at the meeting point. It was still a bit early, but inwardly he had hoped that Himuro would already be there. His patience wasn't too much put to the test though, as a dark-haired teen soon showed up from the corner of the street. It was strange, Kagami mused, how he was used to seeing Himuro in his black furred coat, and still today something felt different. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was; Himuro was wearing his usual clothes, his hairstyle was the same as always and so was his gait. He was the same as ever, yet Kagami was under the impression that something had changed, even if just a bit. That's when a small metallic reflection caught his attention: Himuro's ring. Today he was wearing it outside, for some reason. As if to remind Kagami of the bond they shared.

"Good afternoon, Taiga. Did I make you wait long?" Himuro asked.

"Uh, no. I arrived about a minute ago."

"You seem a bit distracted. Everything's fine?" the other teen inquired, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Hm? Yeah, yeah, don't worry. I guess it's just the morning practice. I swear, our coach wants us all dead." the redhead muttered.

"If you're too exhausted, we can cancel the date."

"No, it's fine!" Kagami replied, maybe a bit too hastily. "I mean, we're already both here so we might as well go on with it. I still... don't know a damn crap about how this dating thing works so it's a good opportunity." he added, completely avoiding his friend's gaze.

"I understand." the latter replied before smiling gently. He patted Kagami's shoulder: "That girl will be a lucky one."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because you're putting a lot of effort to make sure that you'll please her. Not everyone goes to such a length."

"W-Well, I just don't want to mess it up."

"That's why I say that girl is lucky. Despite everything people can say, you're actually very kind at heart."

"Stop that, it sounds really weird coming from you." Kagami replied with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. "Anyway, what are we supposed to do now?"

"First, you aren't supposed to ask me. Or did you already forget what I taught you yesterday?"

"Huh... right." Kagami scratched his head. "So... oh yeah! I remember. I should ask you where you wanna go, right?"

"That's a good option, yes."

At that moment, Kagami's phone buzzed. The screen displayed an incoming message from Kuroko. Frowning, he read it and almost choked himself.

_Have fun on your date._

"What the hell?!" Kagami swore loudly, earning a few queer looks from passers-by.

"Something the matter, Taiga?"

"Did you tell anyone about this afternoon?" Kagami asked suspiciously.

"Not really. Well, I just mentioned to Atsushi that I'd be away for the afternoon, that's all. Why?"

"Never mind then." the redhead shook his head before grunting: "That damn Kuroko..."

"Are you sure everything's fine?" Himuro insisted, now looking clearly perplexed.

"Yeah, don't worry. It's Kuroko. That idiot just sent me a stupid message." Kagami replied as he roughly shoved the phone back into his pocket. Seriously, what the hell was his problem? And how did he even figure it out? He clicked his tongue of annoyance, deciding to deal with that later. "So, where do you wanna go?"

"Let's see... how about the shopping mall?" Himuro asked very innocently before chuckling at Kagami's dismayed expression. "I was kidding, don't worry." he went on, earning a sigh of relief from the Seirin player. "Still, you'll have to expect such requests when going out with a girl."

"Did your girlfriend–I mean, your former girlfriend also ask you to take her to the mall?" Kagami inquired with mild scepticism.

"Not really." Himuro replied evasively. "In any case, today I've decided to have mercy on you, so I'll spare you all the typical places a girl would drag you to. Have you ever been to Shinjuku Gyoen Park?"

"Once with my parents, I guess. But that was years ago, before I went to America."

"Perfect, then you'll show me around."

It wasn't so bad, Kagami thought. A park was definitely better than a shopping mall, even though he knew he'd have to go through that one day or another.

The bus trip taking them to the park would take about twenty minutes; luckily, the two teenagers managed to get two seats next to each other and before they knew it, they found themselves in an active conversation about basketball. It felt great being able to talk to Himuro like that; it was sending Kagami back to those years spent in America where they would always stick together, at school, on the court, everywhere. During those years, never once had Kagami felt like an only child; his brother was always there with him, playing against him, playing with him, and laughing with him. Today, despite the circumstances being slightly different, genuine happiness and nostalgia was filling Kagami, and he wished the bus would still go on for a few more hours. At some point, he tried asking Himuro about his girlfriend, but the only answers he received were either very vague, or very short, therefore he didn't insist. And he felt much more at ease talking about their childhood in America anyway.

That is, until something warm covered his hand. Himuro's own. In spite of himself, Kagami jumped sideway at the touch, making Himuro withdraw his hand in surprise.

"What is it, Taiga?" the Yosen shooting guard inquired, tilting his head on the side.

Befuddled, Kagami made the mistake of looking back and what he saw in Himuro's eyes left him even more confused: hardly visible yet definitely present were hurt, and disappointment. And he felt his heart sink a bit at the sight. The next second, Himuro was smiling faintly again, making him wonder if he had just not imagined the pained expression that was displayed on his friend's face just a moment ago.

"Sorry, I was just not expecting it." he said a bit more dryly than intended.

"Oh. It's my fault. I shouldn't have done that." Himuro replied apologetically. He looked away and pretended to gaze at the landscape through the window.

Silence settled between them, leaving Kagami rather uncomfortable and unsure of what to say or do next. A part of him was thankful that the bus was empty enough not to leave any witness to this awkward scene, while another part of him was mildly annoyed at Himuro. He had promised not to act lovey-dovey with him, hadn't he? Then why did he try to hold his hand? Even if no one was watching, it was still rather embarrassing for two guys to hold hands, wasn't it? Then on the other hand... maybe he had overreacted a bit? After all, it wasn't as if Himuro had done something outrageously indecent, and again, he was doing it all for his sake.

A vague feeling of guilt seized him at the thought, but it didn't help him find the fitting words to get over this little incident. Never mind that. He couldn't keep silent forever, could he? And yet it was as if a knot had tied his throat somehow; he cursed himself for being such a failure at communicating with people, and above all, with his own brother. If he couldn't even do it while it was still Himuro he was with, then how could he hope to manage anything with that girl? This was getting ridiculous.

His salvation came as the bus arrived at their destination.

"Tatsuya, we're getting off here." he said as normally as he could, standing up from his seat.

The latter nodded and followed him out of the bus.

"So... the entrance's over there. Let's go." Kagami pointed a bit farther away.

The weather was in its chilly season and therefore there weren't as many people as in summer, but there was still a short queue at the ticket office. When it was their turn, Himuro took his wallet out from his pocket but Kagami stopped him:

"Ah, don't bother. It's on me."

"It's fine, you don't have to–"

"Hey, you were the one who told me that I have to act gallantly. Paying for your ticket is a gallant act... I guess?" he finished, looking at Himuro with uncertainty.

"It is, indeed." he dark-haired male chuckled. "Thank you."

Relief filled Kagami upon seeing his friend smile again. That was how it should be. He paid for the tickets, grabbed a map and together they crossed the entrance of the park.

"So, where do you wanna go first?" Kagami asked, opening the map.

"Let's see... We're not too far from the greenhouses, so we can go there first, and then we can continue to the French garden and the English garden, walk along the ponds to the Japanese garden, and by the time we do that, it'll probably be late enough for us to stop at the tea house there." Himuro suggested. "What do you think?"

"Sounds good. Let's do that."

Though he had never been really fond of flowers and the like, the redhead had to admit that the whole place was undeniably a marvel to the eye. Blurry memories of his previous visit with his parents were present in his mind, triggered by the vaguely familiar bridges and buildings around him. Many other visitors were there as well, naturally, still the whole atmosphere was radiating peace and quiet. The faint song of water flowing under the bridges, the rustle of leaves cradled by the breeze, the light crunch of footsteps on gravel, the harmony between the greenery of several hundred-year-old trees and the remains of the historical stone architecture; everything in this place was giving off a soothing feeling.

Kagami glanced sideways at the dark-haired teen who was busy admiring the view silently, an undecipherable expression on his face. Even after spending so many years by his side, he was still unable read past that emotionless face of his, which was rather annoying him a bit, but it had become a sort of habit to let it go.

"It's a pretty nice place." Himuro commented as they arrived at the greenhouses.

"Yeah, it is." Kagami replied for lack of having anything else to say.

"You're really no good at conversations unless it's about basketball, are you?" the other male chuckled.

"Sorry. I've got to work on that." Kagami scratched his head. "Damn, what a pain. I usually have no problem talking to Kuroko and the others, and even the coach, but I just can't think of anything cool when it comes to, uh... find something to say to a normal girl, I guess?"

"Well, usually girls tend to be the ones to do the talking, and all you need to do is to agree with what they say."

"That's kind of painful to hear." Kagami replied, blasé. "But hey, it means that you're supposed to come up with something then." he beamed.

"I suppose so, yes, but then I wouldn't be teaching you anything. Actually, it'd be more enriching for you to play the role of the girl." Himuro added pensively, completely ignoring Kagami's horror struck face.

"M-Me? As the girl?!"

"Not so loud, Taiga."

"B-But that's just…"

"It's just to help you improve your communication skills."

"But it's kind of hard not to talk about basket when it's you in front of me." Kagami retorted sullenly.

Himuro let out a small sigh.

"The whole point of this afternoon is for you to learn the basics of a date, but I can't do anything if you don't put in some good will."

"It's not that I don't want to," Kagami defended himself, "but it's still weird."

"I understand." Himuro replied after a second of silence. "We'll just take it slowly then. Want to go inside the greenhouses?"

But the Yosen player didn't wait for an answer as he stepped inside, leaving Kagami with no choice but to follow him. Alleys of flowers of all shapes and colours were stretching in front of them and some people were crouched down to inhale the various fragrances; Kagami even spotted a girl tugging her boyfriend's sleeve – he assumed it was her boyfriend – and asking him to buy her a whole bunch. _'Seriously, what the hell am I doing here?'_ the redhead pondered for a moment. If his teammates were to see him here, walking among flowers and everything, he could be certain that he'd never hear the end of it. Tatsuya didn't seem to mind, though, as he was ambling leisurely between the alleys. At some point he turned to him:

"What's your favourite flower; Taiga?" he asked, catching the redhead off guard.

"Huh... I don't really have one, I guess. What about you?"

"I'd say the crimson passion flower."

"Never heard of that one. What's so good about it?"

"Let's say its colour reminds me of someone." Himuro replied with a mysterious smile.

"Who?"

"... Never mind, Taiga. And since I can clearly see on your face that talking about flowers bores you to death, I give you permission to change the topic to whatever you like."

Kagami didn't need to be told twice, all too happy by the sudden act of kindness. They continued touring the park, but both boys soon stopped paying attention to the landscape around them, being much more focused on active conversations about the Generation of Miracles, the Winter Cup, and how that bastard Aomine still acted cocky despite having lost to Seirin, and how the hell can you stand rooming with Murasakibara, and Kuroko's dog peed in my shoe on the other day, and remember how we beat the crap out of those guys back in America? It wasn't rare to hear laughter between two sentences, especially when Himuro would tease Kagami about anecdotes from when they were younger, which would earn the former a seemingly pissed glare and an elbow in the side. At some point though, Himuro suddenly remembered that they were merely in one of the most beautiful places of the country and decided that they couldn't leave without at least one picture together, and that was how his phone background picture soon displayed two teens on a bridge above a pond, one smiling and the other grinning with an arm around his friend's shoulders.

From an outsider's point of view, the two of them looked like the closest of brothers, truly.

Hours passed, until Kagami's stomach started protesting about its emptiness, giving the signal that it would perhaps be a good time to head back home.

"Hey, you're staying for dinner today and I won't accept any excuse." Kagami declared as they made their ways to the park exit.

"I suppose I have no choice, then." Himuro replied with a soft chuckle.

"Well, it's to thank you for today. It was fun!" Kagami went on, patting his friend on the back. "We should do that again soon."

"You do remember that it was supposed to be a mock date, don't you?"

At those words, the redhead twitched slightly.

"Ah, right. I completely forgot about that." he confessed, face falling a bit, but a light laugh made him frown and turn to Himuro.

"Don't worry, you're not the only one. And in a way, one of the important aspects of a date is to have fun, so as long as you had fun, we can say that it's a success."

"You're saying weird things again." Kagami scratched his cheek, looking away. "I'm just wondering if dates with her will be the same." he added to himself.

There were a few seconds of silence before Himuro resumed the conversation:

"I just realized that I haven't taught you anything new today."

"Huh? Well... It's OK, I guess. I mean, it was really nice today, so I won't be complaining. I honestly completely forgot about the date thing, but there's still time."

'_No, there isn't.'_ But Himuro deemed it best to leave the thought concealed in his mind. To him, the afternoon had been an actual date, even if Kagami hadn't seen it that way, and would probably never do. It did hurt, clinging to an illusion, that is. Nevertheless, he had been ready to bear with the pain from the moment he had accepted Kagami's request, for the sole sake of a mockery of a relationship with the one his heart ached so much for. Deep inside, he despised himself for indulging into such pretence, yet it didn't really matter to him anymore now. It would be over before he knew it.

* * *

"It was delicious." Himuro commented after finishing the last bit of food on his plate. "I had no idea you could cook."

"Heh, Kuroko and the others told me the same thing." Kagami answered, beaming. "When you live alone, you learn a trick or two."

"I suppose so. Ah, let me help you clean the table. I'll wash the dishes if you want."

"Nah, leave it to me. You're a guest after all. Can't really have guests do chores now, can I?"

"Since when am I a guest now? Aren't I your brother?" Himuro teased. The other male scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Yeah well, you are but..."

"Then I'll at least help you clean the dishes dry."

"Fine. But you're damn stubborn."

"You only found out now?"

"Geez... Never mind." Kagami gave up as he rolled up his sleeves and put on some gloves while Himuro grabbed the tea towel nearby. It didn't take long for all the dishes in the sink to get as clean as new and by the time they were done, the clock hit 8 pm.

"I guess I'll take my leave now then." Himuro said.

"Already? Hey, I just thought of something. Wanna stay and watch a movie?" Kagami offered. "Izuki lent me one, he said it's really cool."

Himuro would be lying if he said he wasn't tempted by the offer, but his sensible part told him that it was not a good idea. It would also be a lie to say that he wasn't having a hard time dismissing his less sensible part which was whispering at him to just say yes already.

"There isn't any bus to take me back to the dorms if I leave here too late." he eventually said.

"Just stay over then." Kagami suggested with a shrug. "I'll let you borrow my stuff and there's a spare room."

At that moment, only an expert eye would have managed to notice the Yosen player turning stiff and his face darken suddenly. His fingers turned white as he clenched the tea towel that was still in his hands. Of course his Taiga had no idea about the reaction his innocent words had triggered in him, nor did he have any idea about the strain he was putting on Himuro's already weakened self-discipline.

"Tatsuya? What's wrong?" Kagami inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

"I..." The dark-haired teen opened his mouth. "I'm not sure it'd be reasonable for me to impose on you." he managed to articulate, though not without some difficulty. His eyes were currently not meeting Kagami's, they didn't dare meet them, for he knew that the second their gazes would cross, he'd find his will faltering to nothingness.

"Huh? Why? You're not imposing at all." Kagami replied. "You said so yourself, the flat's big so there's plenty of room for you. Come on, it's more fun when you watch a movie with other people!" he added, grinning.

'_Don't look at him.'_ Himuro repeated mentally as he put the cloth back on the table. _'Don't look at him. Just say no. Just say no. It's easy. Just say no.'_ His heartbeat was increasing in pace at the mere idea of spending a night at Kagami's place, even in a separate room. Who knew what he'd be tempted to do if he stayed over? The thought generated a feeling of disgust within him. Since when had he turned so wicked?

A hand shaking him by the shoulder snatched him to reality. "Tatsuya, seriously, what's wrong? You keep spacing out. Hey, look at me. Are you feeling sick or something?" Kagami inquired worriedly as he laid the palm of his hand on Himuro's forehead.

The gesture made the shorter male start and accidentally raise his eyes to Kagami's concerned ones. Big mistake. Too close. Way too close. His body wouldn't move an inch, save for his chest heaving irregularly. _'Just get out of here already.'_ But he couldn't. _'Just let me go, Taiga.'_ He closed his eyes. And suddenly the warmth on his forehead was no more.

"Doesn't seem like you have a fever. But hey, your cheeks are red. Do you want some water?" Kagami asked, glaringly oblivious to the turmoil he was putting his best friend in.

'_Breathe.'_

"No, Taiga. I'm fine, thank you." Himuro replied almost like a murmur. It didn't bode well at all, he could feel it; his arm was already moving on its own, slowly yet surely, to reach Kagami's cheek, and his leg had already made him step a bit closer to the other male.

"T-Tatsuya? What are you d–"

"I haven't taught you anything today, haven't I?" Himuro spoke softly. "I'll make up for that. And I did say yesterday that I'd teach you properly."

"Wh–"

His thumb brushed on Kagami's lips, inciting them to part and silencing the taller teen, while his other hand went to rest on Kagami's chest, right where his ring was. _'Don't run away from me now, Taiga.'_ He didn't. _'Good.'_ He didn't need any other invitation.

This time, he wasn't going to be as kind as on the previous day. He pressed his lips against Kagami's, and before the latter could react, he slipped his tongue inside Kagami's mouth, though in his usual composed way, without forcing, without rushing, for fear that his Taiga would panic and push him away. The Seirin player did emit a sound of surprise – or maybe it was protest – and instinctively tried to step back, but Himuro's fingers had closed on Kagami's ring and he tugged lightly on the chain as a silent prompt for the other not to move while his free hand slipped around Kagami's neck. Every gesture was paced, without a hint of hurry, and yet they were passionate enough to reflect the strength of his feelings for the one he called his brother. Reason drifted away to leave room to sheer emotions, emotions which were overwhelming him at each second that passed; his senses felt suddenly sharper while his mind was progressively falling into a hazy state of half-consciousness. The taste of Kagami in his mouth, the scent of his Cologne, the soft moans he let escape, the uncertainty of his hands as he hesitantly reached for Himuro's hips, everything was mingling and merging into a mess of hardly contained pleasure. Himuro pressed himself closer and deepened the kiss, making up for Kagami's inexperience with his own confidence, tasting him again and again, never wanting to let go. A pair of arms soon snaked clumsily around his waist, sending a thrill down his spine and making him shiver with delight; finally Kagami was responding, even if shyly. But it didn't matter, he was there to lead the dance after all, and lead he did, in a gentle yet firm way. All of his feelings were poured into that kiss like a desperate attempt at conveying them to the one who had chosen another.

_I'm not trying to hide my feelings._

Deep inside, he was foolishly praying that, even if just a little, Kagami could grasp the meaning behind this embrace, behind this kiss.

_I'm just expressing them in my way._

And when finally the need to breathe surfaced, they parted, lazily, almost reluctantly; and Himuro delicately freed himself from Kagami's grasp. He smiled, never suspecting that smiling could tear him apart so much.

"That will be all for tonight." he said quietly. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I promised Atsushi to help him study." he lied.

He waited for an answer which took some time to come, for Kagami needed a few seconds to recover from his disoriented state and comprehend what Himuro had just said.

"Oh, uh, right. OK. Hm… how was it? I mean… was I, uh, good enough?" he asked, his cheeks a deep crimson and his eyes avoiding Himuro's at all cost.

"For a first try, it's not bad at all, but we have plenty of time to practice, don't we?"

"R-Right."

"Well then, good night, Taiga."

"Good night. And hm… thanks for the… lesson, I guess."

"I'm glad I can be of help." Himuro merely replied.

As he left Kagami's flat, he knew he should have rejoiced, for it was the reaction a kiss with the one you loved normally induced; yet strangely enough, that one had a bitter aftertaste in it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: **And chapter 2 is done. Thank you guys for your reviews, I really appreciated them!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Pfew, you get another chapter right before I leave on vacation. A big thanks to those who reviewed this story! It actually turned out completely different from what I had originally intended (as usual), but I hope you'll still like it anyway.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Himuro ticked another day off the calendar on his desk, his face as expressionless as ever. Time flowed too quickly, he regretted, and there was nothing he could do but let it flow helplessly like sand between his fingers. He counted the remaining days until the end of the month: ten ridiculous yet precious days. And when the timer reached zero, then... then what? He would finally get freed from that masquerade he had sunk himself into? As if. A small sigh escaped his lips.

The next second, something heavy weighted on his left shoulder while his cheek was tickled by long strand of purple hair.

"Muro-chin~ What are you doing?" Murasakibara inquired with his usual childish tone, a pocky in his mouth and his chin comfortably settled on Himuro's shoulder. "Oh? That calendar again?"

"Do you need something?" the shooting guard asked, putting the calendar away.

"Hmm, I'm bored. You're always off somewhere, even after we finish practice late. And you don't have lunch with us anymore." the giant pouted.

"Well, I'm here tonight." Himuro replied, patting the other's head. _'But only because Taiga is going to eat with his friends.'_

"But you don't do anything else but stare at the calendar and sigh."

"Do I? I'm sorry then. What would you like to do?"

"Go buy some snacks with me."

"Don't you already have enough?" The shorter teen glanced at the pile of junk food stuffed next to Murasakibara's bed.

"Hmmmm but I'm booored~"

"Fine, fine. Let's go." Himuro gave up.

He was used to dealing with Murasakibara's childish side by now, and sometimes he couldn't help but see some resemblance with his Taiga, though the latter would probably kick him for the comparison. He sighed once again as he grabbed his coat, totally oblivious of his teammate's queer gaze on him.

The weather was chilly outside; fortunately the store wasn't too far away from the school and it didn't take long for the two young men to exit the place with enough snacks for an army to hold a siege for a year.

"Isn't it a bit too much, even for you?" Himuro asked, sweatdropping.

"It's for Muro-chin too."

"For me?" The shorter male cocked an eyebrow. "But I thought you didn't like sharing. You almost killed Fukui when he tried to steal some sweets from you the other day."

"But Fuku-chin doesn't need sugar."

"And I do?"

"Hmhm." Murasakibara nodded.

"What makes you say so?"

"Muro-chin looks gloomy. When I'm gloomy I eat sweets."

Himuro froze for a second before he resumed walking, keeping as neutral an expression as he could.

"I'm fine." he replied, and to make his point, he smiled at his teammate. "But thanks for worrying."

What was the meaning of this? Since when did Murasakibara start caring about how others seemed to be feeling? Moreover, Himuro prided himself on the fact that he wasn't the easiest to read, so there was no way his teammate could have detected any change in him. He shook his head mentally. It was probably just pure luck. Even Kagami had always had trouble deciphering his expressions despite being childhood friends. Despite being brothers. Despite pretending to be… He stopped the trail of thoughts there.

"Here." Murasakibara handed him a candy.

"I'm fine, Atsushi, you don't have to–" But the centre shoved it in the pocket of Himuro's coat, forbidding any further protest.

But he was fine, really; or so he wanted to convince himself. The past week spent in Kagami's company had been more than fine. It had almost become a routine for them to act as if they were a couple and meet whenever they could, which was mainly during meal times. Their schools were a bit far from each other but they always managed to find at least an hour or two to spend together at lunch, and every evening they'd meet either at Kagami's place or somewhere near Yosen High for Himuro not to miss his curfew. Officially, it was to continue Kagami's lessons and initiate him to the subtle arts of living in a relationship. Himuro had no doubt that it was how the redhead interpreted their daily meetings, being the straightforward teen he was; there was no way he could even suspect the twisted and cunning motivation that had prompted Himuro to take on his request. Wouldn't he be utterly disgusted if he were to find out that the brother he admired and trusted so much was simply using him? Yes, most likely.

Well, it wasn't as if he'd ever come to discover the truth. From the outside, he was still the same Himuro Tatsuya as ever: kind, gentle and collected. Everything he did, he did it for his dear little brother. During their lessons – he tried hard not to call them "dates" – he would play his role of substitute to perfection, so that Kagami wouldn't be taken by surprise or be embarrassed once the real deal would come, and it was working quite well: by now the Seirin player was more or less used to Himuro holding his hand, caressing his cheek, kissing him. Even better, he sometimes was the one to take the initiative, even though it had taken a bit of time to make him cross that line.

The lessons were going on exactly like Himuro wanted them to, therefore he was fine.

It didn't matter that he was pretending to pretend, it didn't matter that Kagami believed it was all but an act, it didn't matter that each touch, each caress and each kiss left him a bit more desperately and one-sidedly infatuated with Kagami, it didn't matter that the mere perspective of Kagami abandoning him soon for another tore him apart a bit more every day. Time would ease his pain, dull his feelings and with a bit of luck, it would make him forget that he had once cherished Kagami with all his heart. He would be fine.

He wasn't fine at all.

His phone rang, forcing him to ask Murasakibara to wait for him and put a bag of food down to take the call. The luminous screen displayed a 'Taiga'. He frowned; wasn't he supposed to have dinner with his teammates?

"Good evening, Taiga."

"_Hey Tatsuya. Dinner was cancelled so I was wondering if you wanna drop by my place to eat. Unless you already have some other plans."_

Himuro's face lit up upon hearing those words.

"I don't. I'll be there in half an hour, if that's fine with you." he answered.

"_Great! Then see you in half an hour."_

The dark-haired teen hung up and turned to his teammate:

"I'm sorry, I won't have dinner with you tonight either." he said apologetically.

"Then I'll eat all of Muro-chin's sweets." Murasakibara replied, nonchalant.

The dark-haired teen chuckled.

"Then should I give you back the one you gave me earlier?"

"Hmmm... Nah, keep it. It's for when you're gloomy again."

Himuro blinked in surprise, then smiled.

"Thank you."

* * *

It was a bit past 7.30 pm when Himuro arrived at Kagami's flat; even from behind the closed door, a nice aroma of beef stew was filling his nose. It reminded him that another thing he would miss once everything was over was Kagami's cooking. Among other things. He rang the doorbell and was greeted a few seconds later by a grinning redhead wearing an apron.

"Nice timing, Tatsuya! The food's just done, we can start now. I hope you're hungry, because I made tons."

"I'll do my best." Himuro replied as he stepped inside, but as he walked past Kagami, the latter grabbed his wrist and kissed him. He was getting much better and bolder than a week ago, Himuro mused as he kissed him back; there was hardly any sign of the original unease left in him and though he knew he should have rejoiced at the thought, he knew that the only reason Kagami kissed him was because he had taught the redhead that it was what he must do at the beginning of each date. Kagami was only following his instructions, inevitably leading Himuro to feel that somehow, there was always something missing in the way Kagami acted towards him, and it had nothing to do with any technique whatsoever.

If it had to be put into words, then perhaps it would be accurate to say that Kagami was still too… brotherly to him. There was affection, but it was closer to that which was displayed between relatives, not between lovers. His touches induced neither the thrill nor the excitement that had shaken – much to his shame – his body countless times, when he was alone in the dorm room or the bathroom, driven by the impure images forming in his mind. Kagami was acting exactly the way Himuro dreamt of, and yet it didn't feel at all like in his dreams; instead of the delight that was supposed to fill him, there was but an inflexible void which refused to disappear from within him and which was plunging him in a slow but certain agony. How cruel could it be, for the one he longed for to be so close and yet so out of reach? And how could he even hope to convey his silent pain to Kagami?

The latter was genuinely convinced that everything he did was but practice, nothing more. And no matter how hard Himuro tried to convince himself that it was still better than nothing, he couldn't dismiss the haunting thought that each of Kagami's gestures, each of his words, each of his kisses weren't meant for him; they were meant for some unknown girl whose only merit was to be distant enough from Kagami not to fear the consequences of a potential rejection.

It was unfair. He was the one who knew Kagami the most, he was the one who shared the strongest bond with him, he was the one who cared the most about him and ironically enough, it was because of that closeness to him that he was forbidden to desire more; the line had been drawn on the day they had both agreed to wear that pair of matching rings. More than once had he wished he could rewind time and stop his past self from uttering that 'brothers' nonsense which Kagami was so attached to; but how could he have guessed back then that his originally innocent feelings would develop into something much different not so long later?

It was really unfair.

"Am I improving?" Kagami's voice brought Himuro back to reality.

"Do you have to ask every time? I'd tell you if there was something wrong." the Yosen shooting guard answered with a small sigh. It was partly because Kagami kept asking that kind of questions that Himuro could never achieve the illusion that he was dating his childhood friend.

"I just wanna make sure. Come on, take a seat and let's eat." Kagami said as he motioned his friend to follow him to the table.

"Then are you going to ask your girlfriend every time as well?" Himuro insisted stubbornly.

"Huh, no, obviously not. But I ask you because you're my teacher, we could say." Kagami grinned. "Are you coming? Just drop your stuff on the couch, as usual."

But Himuro didn't move.

"You can't practice well if you keep thinking of me as your teacher only. I already told you that you have to act exactly as if you were with that girl." he said, a bit more dryly than usual.

"I know that, and I'm trying my best but it's still kind of tough." Kagami replied, scratching his head.

"It means you aren't trying hard enough!" the other male snapped, much to Kagami's surprise. "If you don't get completely in the mood, then there's no point in trying at all!"

The Yosen player clenched his fists and lowered his eyes, immediately hating himself for raising his voice for no real reason. It was a mere release of his pent up frustration, but as the most mature one, it was definitely not a reaction he wanted Kagami to witness. But it was too late. He bit his lower lip, searching for an appropriate apology and finding none. The other teen beat him to it.

"I-I'm sorry, Tatsuya." he mumbled.

Himuro raised his head only to meet with a pair of confused crimson eyes. A crease appeared between his brows.

"Why are you apologizing?" he murmured with a pained voice. "I'm the one who yelled at you, Taiga."

"Well, uh, you had a point. I mean, it's true that I still can't completely get into the role and it's been a week already. I guess I'm still really bad at it."

"No, you aren't." Himuro shook his head with a sigh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I'm just a bit tired–it's not an excuse, I know. I guess it's best if I don't impose on you any longer today."

"What are you saying? If you're tired, it's more of a reason to stay here and eat." Kagami replied as he walked back to where his friend was standing, but the latter already had a hand on the door handle.

"I appreciate the offer but I can't stay here after spoiling the mood like that."

"Don't be stupid, it was my fault too. And it's your role as a teacher to tell me what I do wrong, so I can't really complain, can I?"

Hesitation painted on Himuro's face. _'I don't deserve being called a teacher, and definitely not by you, Taiga. That's just how terrible a person I am.'_ He wasn't given the time to think more as a hand covered his own and removed it from the handle.

"Come on, the food's going to get cold." Kagami cracked a smile.

That mere smile and the mere contact of Kagami's fingers on his were enough to make the little resistance the Yosen player had left in him fade. Yielding, he let himself be dragged by the hand to the table, where he sat down silently. As Kagami brought the pot of stew, Himuro figured he had to find something to say, if only to fill the silence.

"So... how come the dinner with your teammates was cancelled?" he asked, for lack of any better idea.

"Ah, well... We were supposed to go eat at Maji, but then the coach changed her mind and told us we need to eat healthy food, so she said she'd cook for us." Kagami explained sullenly as he plunged a ladle in the pot. "Give me your plate."

"And then what happened?"

"Well, half of us suddenly remembered that we had a lot of homework to do, Kuroko used his misdirection to vanish without anyone noticing, and the others pretended they had fever or a cough and had to go home."

Apparently, Himuro's puzzled stared was eloquent enough, for Kagami added:

"Oh, right. You don't know about our coach's cooking skills. Forget about healthy, they're weapons of mass destruction." he deadpanned, earning a chuckle from Himuro.

"That bad? You could teach her."

"Well, I tried. It didn't really work out."

"In any case, your cooking skills are still as honed as ever." Himuro complimented after taking a bite.

"I've never asked you but is there any specific dish you want to me to cook?"

"Anything, as long as it's made by you." the Yosen player smiled, and for the first time in days, he was offered a familiar sight: Kagami blushing, hardly enough to be clearly visible, but definitely present. The next sentence the redhead pronounced pretty much wiped the smile off from Himuro's face:

"I hope that she'll be as easy to satisfy as you."

There was no need to ask who 'she' was.

"Yes, I hope so too." Himuro forced himself to answer. "But it was a good point of you to ask. See? You learn quickly."

"Thanks!"

Aside from that tiny incident, dinner was globally enjoyable. Sure, Kagami still wasn't able to talk decently about anything that didn't involve basketball, but Himuro decided he didn't care anymore. More exactly, he had never truly cared about it; as much as he was ashamed to admit it, he was nurturing a strong hope that Kagami would somehow bore the girl so much about basketball that she'd end up giving up on him. After all, it took a basketball lover to stand another basketball lover, and that girl most likely didn't belong to that category. She'd get tired soon enough of hearing only about Kagami's passion, and she'd leave him. And when she did, Himuro would be the one there for Kagami.

It was petty, it was selfish, and it was deceitful for Kagami, but Himuro didn't remember having ever claimed to be a saint, no matter the impression he gave off to other people. He was the first one to be scared by the drastic change within him. Not so long ago, he was but a mere teen who had simply happened to fall in love with his best friend and was content enough just staying by that friend's side. Now, insatiable greed was devouring him from inside, cracking his sanity slowly but surely and driving him to keep going with that mummery of a relationship.

"–more? Tatsuya?"

The Yosen player started slightly upon hearing his name.

"Hm? Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted some more stew."

"Oh, thanks but I'm full. It was delicious though." Himuro complimented. He noticed his friend gazing at him queerly, raising some unease in him. "Is there something wrong, Taiga?"

"I should be the one asking you that." Kagami replied, dead serious. "You've been spacing out a lot, lately."

"Have I?"

"Yeah. So what's the matter? Anything I can help with?"

"Not really, I fear. I'm just thinking of the coming exams." the dark-haired male lied, a faint smile on his lips.

"You've always been damn smart, you'll do fine! And it's in a month, so you have time." Kagami cheered him up as he stood up from the table and rolled up his sleeves. "Alright, I'm gonna wash the dishes."

"I'll help you."

"Nah, there isn't much to wash tonight so don't bother."

"Fine, fine. But next time you let me do it or I won't come here anymore." Himuro teased.

"Geez, fine! Next time."

Putting all the dishes in the sink, he started pouring water on the first plate, oblivious to the silhouette walking smoothly behind him. It was only when he felt two hands wandering slowly between his shoulder blades that he jumped.

"Tatsu–!"

"Relax, Taiga. You're too stiff." the other male pointed out as he trailed his hands down on Kagami's hips. It didn't help ease the other teen who grumbled something which sounded like 'your fault'. A chuckle escaped Himuro's lips. The Yosen player was positive that Kagami's cheeks must be turning a deep shade of pink now.

"You don't mind when we're kissing or holding hands, but this is making you uncomfortable?" he teased, snaking his arms viciously around the taller teen's waist and pressing himself against his back.

"W-Well, you don't usually do that." the latter replied, less and less unable to focus on washing the plate in his hands.

A smile painted Himuro's lips. Another reason why he loved his Taiga so much was that despite the confidence he displayed most of the time, he could easily turn into a disoriented cub as soon as it came to unknown territories, which was a feature Himuro found delightfully adorable.

"Consider it another example of what you could do with your future girlfriend, then."

"O-OK. I'll try to remember that. Is there something else I should do?"

Those words made Himuro's smile vanish and he sighed as he moved away from the redhead and leant against the worktop next to him.

"Yes. You should stop asking what to do and not to do. There isn't any programmed protocol in a relationship. I taught you the basics, but now you should simply do as you _feel_."

"But I really suck at stuff like that." Kagami mumbled.

"It's no different from basket, really." Himuro explained, suppressing the vague annoyance that was surfacing in him again. "You remember when I first taught you how to play? Afterwards you played on your own, and now you've even surpassed me. Now tell me, do you think about each action or each step you should take?"

The answer came immediately:

"Of course not! It just… feels natural. I mean, it'd be a pain if I had to think about every gesture I had to make."

"Exactly. It's called 'instinct'. It's the same in a relationship. Except that in your case, you're still too embarrassed to let your instinct guide you."

This time, Kagami remained silent, busy cleaning the last plate and drying his hands. As Himuro glanced towards him, he noticed the latter frowning slightly, probably trying to register the analogy and having a hard time doing so.

"What does your instinct tell you to do now?" Himuro prompted him gently.

"…I, uh…"

"Don't think too much Kagami, it doesn't suit you."

"It's– Hey! What is that supposed to mean?" Kagami protested, turning to his friend.

"That you're at your best when you let your instinct drive you." the dark-haired teen replied very seriously. "So, what does it tell you to do?" he asked again, locking gaze with Kagami.

The latter flinched slightly, flushing hot and still seemingly paralyzed. Himuro took a step closer to encourage him, which proved to be a successful move when Kagami reached for his hands and closed his fingers tightly around them; maybe a bit too tightly, as if he feared that Himuro would leave were he to do anything wrong. But the shooting guard smiled at him reassuringly.

"And then?" he asked softly.

"T-Then… I don't know, it's just… Damn it…"

"Imagine I'm her. You want to please her. What would you do? Don't think too much."

"But that's the problem! I can't! I… I just can't imagine you as her! That's just impossible! You're nothing like her!" Kagami let out with obvious frustration.

The words felt like needles piercing through Himuro's flesh. He believed he was used to Kagami's tactlessness, but it didn't mean that he was insensitive to it. And this time, the blow was particularly painful. The Yosen player lowered his head, hair partly veiling his face. However, he wasn't able to conceal the faint tremors in his voice as he spoke:

"I know I'm not a girl, I know I'll never be able to replace her no matter how much I try. But the least you could do is _pretend_, because I'm also trying hard to help you here. And don't forget that _you_ were the one who came to me for advice so at least have the decency to keep that kind of words for you."

He tried to pull his hands free, but Kagami wouldn't let go.

"...sorry, Tatsuya." the latter murmured.

"What?"

"I said, I'm sorry." Kagami said, as red as ever. "I-I didn't mean it to sound that way." He looked away.

"Well, too bad it did sound that way." Himuro snapped dryly.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to put it!"

"If you don't, then I can't help you here. Let me go now." the dark-haired male ordered, but Kagami shook his head.

He opened his mouth as if to answer, but no word came out of it. He was obviously struggling, and given how he gulped, he was struggling hard.

"Let me go." Himuro repeated, though without much conviction.

The reaction he got wasn't the one he had expected: Kagami's hands did indeed release his, but only to pull him into a crushing embrace. A small gasp escaped the shorter male's lips, but he offered no resistance. And then, a soft whisper reached his ears:

"...I don't know how to put it... whenever I try to picture her face, it's yours I see. I can only think of you. It just… doesn't work. Sorry."

Those mere words were enough to make Himuro's heart leap violently inside his ribcage. For a second he feared he misheard, but no, it was impossible for him to mishear such words given how much he had hoped to hear them. He closed his eyes, his arms moving on their own around Kagami's waist. For the first time, the void that dwelled continuously within him seemed to be less empty. Kagami's warmth, his scent, his racing heartbeat, the way he clutched clumsily at Himuro's clothes; there was no way those could be mere illusions, and there was no way his Taiga knew how to bluff that well, right? He was far too honest and straightforward for that.

"Taiga, it's fine…" he murmured, gently stroking the other teen's back. "You don't have to force yourself. You don't have to apologize."

"But you're trying so hard to help me, and I still can't do it!" Kagami replied with a pained voice. "As long as I know it's you, I can manage. But as soon as I try to imagine it's her, I just don't know what to do anymore."

It wasn't enough for Himuro. He wanted to hear more, he _needed_ to hear more. He needed to hear from Kagami's mouth the words he had dreamt of so many times.

Unfortunately, reality was as tricky as it was cruel, and crushing one's dreams and toying with one's heart seemed to be part of its favourite pastimes, as the Yosen player was about to learn. He felt Kagami release his hold and step back, obviously troubled.

"I'm sorry," he repeated pitifully, "I'm wasting your time. There's just one week left and I'm still not up to the task. But I want it to work out with her, I swear I really do! Tatsuya, I'll try even harder, I promise, so please, please don't let me down."

The Yosen player stood there, hardly less puzzled than the other male. Had he... misunderstood? It couldn't be... Taiga... his Taiga was still dead set on accepting that girl's feelings? His body turned limp as desperation swelled in him and engulfed his entire being. Did Kagami really mean what he had just said? Did he only put on the whole hugging scene only out of fear that Himuro would give up on him? And what had the whole 'I can only think of you' been for? Knowing him, he had certainly spouted those words without even realizing the impact they had had on Himuro, as usual. But there was a limit to how cluelessness could be used as an excuse, even from Kagami. There was no acceptable excuse for feeding him such high hopes only to smash them to bits a few seconds after.

Sudden and immense weariness seized him, rendering him unable to even find some strength to get angry at Kagami.

He raised forlorn eyes at the taller teen, unable to contain the violent emotions devouring him, but as he opened his mouth, he realized that words were failing him. It was already hard to choke back his anguish, let alone find anything to reply to Kagami who was standing there, miserable.

So he really wasn't allowed even the tiniest glimpse of expectation, was he? Truthfully, he had known it since the beginning; the only miscalculation he had made was how much it would hurt him. However, there was an easy solution to put an end to his torments: he could simply turn down Kagami, tell him that there was nothing more he could do for him now, and draw the curtain definitely on a farce which should have never even existed. It only required him to say the words, and it'd be over.

'_It'll be over. Just tell him. It'll be over.'_ Himuro repeated mentally. But he also wanted his dear Taiga to be happy, and if he could be happy by being with that girl, then it was his duty as the older brother to do everything in his power to make it work out.

But he'd keep on suffering.

"Tatsuya?" Kagami called out his name with uncertainty in his tone, and it was all it took to shatter all of Himuro's resolve.

"Of course I won't let you down, Taiga." he finally murmured, offering a faint smile. He only regretted that smiling could hurt that badly.

The relief he read on Kagami's face should have pleased him. It should have.

"Anyway, I have to leave now. I don't want to go back to the dorms too late." he concluded, patting Kagami's shoulder as he walked past him. "Thanks for the meal, it was good."

The Seirin player probably replied something to him, he probably walked him back to the door and he probably bade him good night, but if he did, then Himuro was too focused on pulling himself together to remember afterwards.

* * *

Out of discretion, or maybe was it his usual indifference, Murasakibara didn't question Himuro about why he pretty much strode past him directly to his bed without even a word; and neither did he question him about why his eyes looked so red and puffy.

With a last crunch, he tossed the empty crisps bag into the bin and mumbled a good night before switching off the light.

* * *

"You're an idiot, Kagami-kun." Kuroko stated boldly, staring at the redhead with as blank a gaze as ever, a vanilla shake in his hands.

The other teen twitched. In front of him, the usual pile of sandwiches waiting to be wolfed down by that bottomless stomach of his. However today, his appetite seemed to have dwindled and the pair of oval blue eyes scrutinizing him was probably partly the cause of it.

Having finished school early today, the two teammates had decided to stop by Maji for a little bit, and somehow the conversation had taken a peculiar turn after Kuroko inquired about Kagami's unusual silence. It had only required a mere minute of staring with those ghostly eyes of his to make the power forward spill the beans.

"If you could all stop saying that, it'd be a damn nice change for once." he muttered, annoyed.

"To summarize, you have no idea how to date a girl, so you asked Himuro-kun to teach you." Kuroko went on, ignoring the other's protest.

"Right." Kagami nodded reluctantly, feeling blood rush to his cheeks.

"And so he taught you all the basics."

"Yeah."

"Then after he did, you told him that you can only think of him."

"R-Right." The embarrassment was such that Kagami thought he could die now. Why were they even talking about that?

"And then you told him that it's a problem for you since you still want to go out with that girl."

"...Something like that." The redhead mentally cursed his shadow for managing to remain as stoic ever.

"And now you wonder why Himuro-kun seems to behave strangely."

"Huh... I guess so?"

Kuroko paused for a second, sipping on the straw at his shake before addressing Kagami again:

"Kagami-kun, I'm currently so pissed that I could pour my shake on your head." he declared calmly, his expression betraying no irritation whatsoever, making his words even more dreadful.

"W-Why the hell are you pissed at me?" the taller teen shot back.

But all he got was another long, reproachful stare.

Just what exactly was wrong with everyone?

At the back of his mind, another question was disturbingly trying to surface.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Yes, Kagami's a retard and I'm a sadist. And so, merry Xmas and happy New Year in advance to everyone, and see you next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Frowning slightly at the unknown number displayed on his phone, Himuro picked up the call.

"Himuro speaking."

"_Good afternoon, Himuro-kun. This is Kuroko Tetsuya speaking."_ a soft voice replied.

"Kuroko? How did you get my number?" the Yosen player asked, though he already had a fair idea of the answer.

"_I sneaked it out from Kagami-kun's phone. Am I bothering you?"_

"Not at all. What can I do for you?"

"_I'd like to apologize for Kagami-kun's behaviour."_

Silence followed. Then:

"I'm not sure I understand." Himuro said politely, breathing out slowly.

"_Kagami-kun can be clueless beyond imagination, but I think you already know that."_

"... I sure do." Himuro let out a short, bitter laugh. "I take it he told you about... us?"

"_Yes. I apologize if it looks like I'm meddling with something which isn't my business."_

"It's fine. But why would _you_ apologize?"

"_I am pretty frustrated about Kagami-kun's behaviour."_

"He's not entirely to blame." Himuro sighed. It felt strange, being brought up that topic by someone he had hardly talked to. He wasn't certain he wanted the conversation to go on, yet at the same time he was intrigued at what the Phantom player had to say on the matter.

"_He won't understand unless he's told bluntly that he is hurting you."_

The dark-haired teen stiffened at those words.

"You don't plan to tell him–"

"_I don't. I'm not supposed to have any say in this, but it pisses me off to be partnered with a human being whose brain seems to have shrunk to basketball only."_

"That is harsh." Himuro couldn't help but chuckle.

"_However, I believe this matter isn't leaving Kagami-kun completely unfazed."_ There was a pause.

"Do go on." Himuro requested, trying not to let his growing impatience show.

"_He hasn't been acting like his usual self, even though he will deny it. He may be on his way to realizing that he perhaps doesn't see you as a brother anymore."_

"...I see."

"_That is all I wanted to say. I'm sorry if this felt sudden and out of place."_

"Don't worry about that. I'm actually grateful that you called."

"_I hope you manage to sort things out."_

"I appreciate the thought."

"_Goodbye, Himuro-kun. And good luck."_

Himuro hung up, not exactly sure about what had just happened. Talk about a peculiar conversation. He wasn't even sure what Kuroko's purpose had been; was it a subtle hint that he should simply lay his feelings bare to Kagami, perhaps? Or had Kuroko merely called on a whim? From what he knew about the Seirin player though, he highly doubted it was the latter.

A quick glance at his calendar showed him one uncrossed day before next month.

One day to make a decision.

He'd think about it tomorrow.

* * *

Kagami slammed the ball through the hoop before landing heavily with a screech of shoes on the floor. Panting heavily, he swiped away the beads of sweat dripping down his face with a rough gesture of the arm.

"You're on fire today, Kagami." Izuki pointed out. "Pissed at something?"

"Huh? Not really. I always play like that." the redhead blinked in surprise.

"You should cool down a bit, Kagami." Kiyoshi intervened. "There's still a full hour of practice and you're already spent."

"I'm fine, really!" Kagami protested before something hard and round hit his back.

With a furious glare, he turned to the perpetrator of the mischief, only to be faced with a pair of wide sky blue eyes staring at him in their usual fashion. Sometimes Kagami wondered if those eyes were even human.

"What was that for?" he snapped at the shorter Seirin member.

"You should listen to your senpai, Kagami-kun." Kuroko merely stated, a ball in his hands.

"I said, I'm f–"

"Shut up, Bakagami!" a female voice rose with authority.

Riko Aida strode to the power forward and crossed her arms, visibly unhappy.

"I don't know what's wrong with you today, but you're obviously putting a bit too much effort into practice today." she said.

"And that's a bad thing?" Kagami frowned.

"Considering that you already made a foul on Teppei, a foul on Mitobe and a foul on Furihata within fifteen minutes of practice, yes, it's a bad thing." the girl shot dryly.

That reduced Kagami to silence. Lowering his eyes and scratching his head, he spoke again after a few seconds:

"Sorry, I guess."

"Hmph, go home for today." Riko sighed.

"What? But I can still play, I'll cool down, I swear!"

"Go. Home. Now." the brunette ordered. "Get a long, relaxing shower and some tea or whatever for tonight. I want you in a good shape for tomorrow's practice session. We'll survive better without you today anyway." The words were sharp, but Riko's tone revealed genuine concern.

"Riko's right." Kiyoshi cheerfully patted Kagami on the shoulder. "Get some rest for tonight and come back to us in a better mood tomorrow."

Kagami felt like protesting again but quickly gave up. Well, they weren't exactly wrong; he _was_ in a slightly tenser mood than usual, for some reason.

"Fine, fine. Sorry about that." he apologized again with a sigh of defeat.

"Don't mind it. Just get some rest for tonight." Riko replied.

A mere ten minutes later, the teen was outside, heading back home and his mind in a rather troubled state. There were two main reasons to it: one was Kuroko, and two was Himuro. Kuroko, because of their little conversation two days ago; and Himuro, well… because it was Himuro.

As of now, he still hadn't figured out what had upset Kuroko so much after he had told him about Himuro and himself, though somewhere in the depths of his mind, he could feel that there was definitely something fishy, and – to his shame – he was also convinced that he most likely had a big part of responsibility in it. As for Tatsuya, nothing seemed to have changed much despite that small incident back then at his flat.

At least, that was what Kagami wanted to convinced himself of. It was his imagination, he told himself, that gave him the impression that his childhood friend seemed more distant at times, that his eyes were sometimes veiled with strange sadness, that his voice occasionally bore a somewhat tone of reproach, or that his kisses seemed to be longer and deeper. Once, he tried to inquire about the topic only to be replied with a smile and a shake of the head, leaving him even more befuddled.

Too complicated. Too much of a hassle. Why must people be so complicated to grasp? Why couldn't everything be as easy as basketball? Kagami tousled his hair as he tried to dismiss the gloomy thoughts and the headache they induced. He was a simple creature and as such, hated everything too complex. Some may call him simple-minded, but he didn't care. What was wrong with preferring clarity and directness over confusing twists and turns? The world would be so damn easier to deal with.

Too bad Himuro didn't seem to think the same. Almost as a reflex, he checked his mobile for any message and a pang of disappointment seized him as he saw none. Well, Tatsuya was also in the middle of practice and would drop by his place in an hour and a half only, for their last night together.

What the hell was he going to do in the meantime? He had already prepared dinner on the previous day; beside playing basketball, there wasn't much for him to kill time. Well, first he'd get a shower and plan things afterwards.

* * *

Himuro was the first one to spot the figure standing by the school gates as he along with his teammates were walking back to the dorms after practice. It was too dark for him to determine the intruder's identity at first glance, yet a spark of intuition whispered to him that this tall silhouette could only belong to one person.

"Go back without me." he told the others.

"Hm, there's someone over there." Fukui cocked an eyebrow. "Hey, isn't it that Seirin's number 10?"

"I think it is. What's he doing here at this hour? He's your friend, if I remember well?" Liu asked, turning to Himuro. The latter nodded.

"Hnnn, so Muro-chin isn't eating with us tonight either." Murasakibara noted casually as he opened a bag of sweets.

"Sorry, I'll eat with you next week. It's a promise." the shooting guard smiled.

"So that's where you disappear every evening?" Okamura intervened, smirking. "And here I thought it was because you found yourself a nice chick."

"Sorry to disappoint you." Himuro replied apologetically. "Well then, I'll see you all tomorrow."

Leaving his teammates behind, he hurried to where Kagami was standing. The latter cracked a smile upon seeing him.

"Yo, Tatsuya!"

"Hey, Taiga. What brings you here? I know it's the last day, but are you so eager to see me that you couldn't wait for me at home?" the dark-haired male teased. As expected, a faint blush bloomed on Kagami's cheeks.

"Let's say I had some free time."

"Didn't you have practice as well?"

"Yeah but the coach pretty much kicked me out, she said I needed to cool down for tonight. So I came back for a shower and decided to wait for you here." the redhead shrugged. "Wanna go to my place now?"

"Sure, if I can borrow your shower and clothes there."

"'Course you can!"

"One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"You haven't greeted me properly yet."

"Oh." Kagami blinked, then glanced behind to make sure the other Yosen students were out of sight before he pulled Himuro in a soft kiss.

It was one of the last he'd receive from his Taiga, Himuro remembered with a pang of sadness. A few more hours and the illusion would come to an end. But for now, Kagami was still his, and he promised to himself not to waste a single second with him. He deepened the kiss, not caring the least bit that they were outside; he only wanted to forever imprint in his mind the feel of Kagami's lips on his, of his hand holding his, of his fingers caressing his hair.

It was all he wanted.

Kagami was the one to break the kiss, apparently needing some air. Even with so little light, Himuro could guess the faint colour on his cheeks.

"Hm, let's go now?" the Seirin player suggested.

"Let's go." Himuro smiled.

The clocked indicated 8.10 pm when they reached Kagami's flat and Himuro vanished into the bathroom. In the meantime, Kagami busied himself with setting the table and reheating the dishes, hardly paying attention to the faint sound of water running. A dozen minutes later, footsteps indicated that Himuro was done.

"Alright, let's ea–" Kagami interrupted himself involuntarily as he raised his eyes to the Yosen player.

The latter was wearing clothes borrowed from Kagami's wardrobe, therefore they were a bit too loose for him and Kagami regretted for a short second that they weren't large enough to uncover more of Himuro's skin. _'I haven't just thought that.'_ he scolded himself incredulously. Another disturbing fact was Himuro's wet hair which he had tucked behind his ear, displaying the too rare sight of his fully exposed face.

It wasn't the first time Kagami saw it, yet this time, for some obscure reason, it struck him harder than usual. He was well aware of his friend's reputation of looking handsome enough to make any girl's eyes turn to him, but for years it had never occurred to him that he could also find himself admiring that very same face. Until now. Though a tiny voice at the back of his head murmured to him that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't been as insensitive to Himuro's charms as he wanted to believe those past few days. _'OK, now this is getting weird.'_ He mentally shook the thoughts off his head and coughed lightly to conceal his moment of distraction.

It didn't entirely fool Himuro, though, as the latter cocked an eyebrow questioningly.

"Something wrong, Taiga?"

"Huh, no. Nothing. Let's eat." Kagami replied hurriedly. "I was a bit lazy so I just made curry."

"That's perfect." Himuro approved with a smile, sitting down at his usual place. "So, how about you tell me more about being kicked out from practice? That's rather unusual."

"There's nothing much to tell." Kagami pulled out an annoyed face. "Everyone was saying I was a bit too much on the edge or something."

Kuroko had mentioned Kagami not acting like his usual self, Himuro remembered.

"Really? How so? Did you destroy the hoop while dunking?" he asked jokingly, earning him a glare.

"Well, I did make three fouls but hey, even Aomine makes plenty of fouls. That's just how we play." Kagami muttered.

The Phantom player had also mentioned Kagami being in denial. _'Isn't there something else you're denying, Taiga?'_ Himuro thought wearily, though he was careful to keep a neutral expression as he conversed with the other teen.

"As far as I remember, you don't usually make fouls. Did something happen for you to get so upset?" he asked with a light tone.

"Not really." Kagami replied as he shoved a mouthful of curry in. There had been very slight hesitation in his answer but the Yosen player chose to ignore it.

"Are you sure?"

This time, the taller teen cocked an eyebrow at him, mouth still full.

"What do you mean? Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, school was like usual, nothing big happened."

"If you say so." Himuro smiled.

Dinner passed without anything extraordinary occurring. If anything, it was rather quiet for once. It wasn't out of character for Himuro not to talk much, but somehow Kagami had a strange feeling that he was more reserved than on the other days.

"Your curry was excellent, as usual." he heard Himuro say when they were done eating. "Your future girlfriend will be delighted."

Kagami was flattered by those words, really, yet something told him that he should have rejoiced more, though he wasn't certain which part of Himuro's sentence was the problem here.

"T-Thanks, I guess. Well, I don't know yet what she likes." he eventually replied, suddenly showing high interest in his plate.

"You didn't talk to her at all since then?"

"Not really. We did cross paths in the corridors, but that's about all."

"What if she believes that you rejected her?"

"What? No!" Kagami turned round eyes at him, starting to panic. "I mean, I told her to wait till tomorrow."

"Some people would take it as rejection." Himuro observed almost indifferently. Apparently the face Kagami pulled was eloquent enough for the latter to add hastily: "But I'm sure if she hasn't come to you again, it means she's still waiting, so you shouldn't worry about it!"

At this point, the power forward wasn't certain if he should be relieved or if his friend had simply tried to reassure him. He decided to play for the former. For the span of a second, however, a rather disturbing thought formed in his head: he actually didn't feel worried at all at the fact that the girl may reject him. He quickly dismissed it, putting it on the account of a frustrating day – as he didn't get to play basketball. He _did_ want to work things out with that girl, didn't he? After all, it was for that purpose that he had been hanging out every day with his childhood friend, it was for that purpose that said friend had spent time and energy teaching him how to behave towards a girl, how to kiss, what to say and what to do. The least he could do now was to repay Himuro by making his first date ever work.

Pulling himself together, he resumed the conversation:

"...Right. Well, there's just tonight left anyway. And speaking of which, uh... I was wondering if we could, like... go over the whole thing again, to make sure I don't mess up or anything."

"A sort of review, you mean? Like before an exam?" Himuro chuckled, making Kagami scowl.

"Don't compare that to an exam, that's sick." he mumbled. "But yeah, that's the idea."

He watched as the Yosen player lowered his eyes, deep in thought.

"Hmm, I think you're doing fine, you don't need a review. However there's one last thing I'd like to teach you." the latter said after a few seconds of reflection.

"What is it?" Kagami inquired, curious, only to be met with an enigmatic smile.

"You'll see in due time."

"All right." the redhead replied reluctantly.

As he stood up and started piling the empty plates, the impulse to make a suggestion suddenly seized him. He had never really worded the suggestion out loud for he knew the answer was most likely to be negative, but tonight was probably the last night Himuro would come to his place, so he decided to go for it:

"Tatsuya, do you want to watch a movie tonight?" he asked casually. "I know you don't want to stay late here because of your bus, and you don't want to stay over either, but I'd really like it if you could make an exception for today. I've got this movie Kuroko lent me; apparently it's great but I'm not motivated to watch it alone. So, watch it with me? Please?"

The Yosen player was busy putting dishes in the sink, and given the few seconds of silence that followed, Kagami expected yet another refusal. However, the dark-haired male soon nodded at him with a smile.

"Sure. It doesn't hurt, once in a while. And it's the last night so I suppose I can make an effort. Let me just inform Atsushi not to wait for me."

"Great!" Kagami grinned. "I'll wash the dishes, then we can go watch it."

On his side, Himuro found himself in a pretty conflicted state, not able to get rid of the main questions currently monopolizing his head: what was Kagami's purpose for suddenly offering him to stay over? Or wasn't there any purpose but just to watch that movie? Was it just a coincidence that he happened to ask just on their last night together?

Probably. Kagami would never have any ulterior motives, it wasn't in his character to do so. But what if? What if, for once, his Taiga actually had a reason behind his offer? And what if that reason happened to be the same as his? For yes, truth be told, if he hadn't been asked to stay, then he would have been the one to make the move. It was their final evening, after all, and he hadn't lied when he had said that there was still one last thing to teach his dear little brother.

Both boys soon found themselves seated comfortably on the sofa, the only source of light coming from the TV screen in front of them. Himuro had both legs crossed under him and was holding a steaming cup of tea in his hands.

"Apparently it's an action movie or something." he heard Kagami comment as the latter pressed a button on the remote to start the DVD. "Sorry it's not some mushy stuff for girls." the redhead added, grinning.

"I don't particularly fancy soppy movies anyway." Himuro grimaced.

The DVD started, prompting them to fall silent. They were seated close enough to each other for their arms to brush lightly, which per se wasn't strange given their bond; however the circumstances tonight gave a whole different meaning to such a closeness, at least from Himuro's point of view. In the past, they often sat next to each other to rest after a basketball match, or when they had meals together with Alex, or when playing video games.

The only difference was that Himuro would never reach for Kagami's hand to lace their fingers together, as he was doing right now. He felt Kagami start lightly though he showed no resistance at the touch. Kagami's hand was a bit cold, or maybe it was just his own hand which was too warm after holding the cup of tea. Not that it really mattered.

The dark-haired male would be lying if he said his full attention was directed at the movie; truth be told, his eyes may be watching the screen and seeing the images flashing by it, but his mind had long wandered to other places, centred on a certain redhead basketball player. His normal composure had somewhat left him to be replaced by a certain tension which he was trying hard to control. It was his last night at Kagami's place, which meant it was his only chance to claim the entirety of Kagami as his own. Taiga had requested his help on how to lead a relationship, and he would fulfil his duty faultlessly. His grip unconsciously tightened around Kagami's hand, but if the younger teen noticed it, he didn't show it.

Himuro's lips curved into a weary smile. If only he had been blessed with the same obliviousness and carefree attitude as his dear Taiga; it would have spared him a lot of mental strain. And if he had had just a bit fewer qualms, it could have relieved his conscience from the heavy burden of his feelings of guilt.

The movie dragged on for what seemed to be an eternity, in Himuro's opinion. Next to him, Kagami seemed to think otherwise given the constant spark of excitement in his eyes. From time to time, he would even make a few enthusiastic comments, to which Himuro would reply with a nod of approval and a smile. Inwardly, he didn't care much that the main character's idea to sneak into the enemy base through the sewers was brilliant, no more than he cared about how that female lead looked a lot like Alex.

"You don't like the movie?" Kagami inquired at some point, frowning slightly.

"Hm? I do, why are you asking?"

"Dunno, you don't look like you're enjoying it."

"Do I? Well, weren't you the one who said I always keep a poker face?" Himuro teased back, eliciting a grin from the other teen.

"Right. But it wouldn't hurt if you expressed yourself a bit more sometimes." Kagami added as he turned his attention back to the TV screen.

Himuro froze for a second at those words. Certainly, Kagami hadn't intended anything else when he had uttered them, yet they felt like a stick poking at him in an unpleasant way. _'I fear it would actually hurt a bit, Taiga. And what about you? Aren't you hiding something yourself?'_ Maybe he was deceiving himself, maybe his assumption was plainly wrong, maybe it was but a fool's hope, yet deep inside he wanted to strongly believe that Kagami was at least a tiny bit conflicted about his own feelings, too. The short conversation with Kuroko had played a part in consolidating his belief.

At the same time, he didn't dare push his hopes too high, for the higher they got, the harder the fall. Moreover, the probability for Kagami to give up on that girl was certainly about as high as the probability for him to give up on basketball.

It didn't matter. In two days, it would be different but for now, Kagami was still his and his only.

It was with both silent relief and stress that he saw the credits finally roll in. Stress because the tough part was coming now. Next to him, Kagami stretched his arms with a loud yawn.

"Well, that was a good movie, what do you think?" he addressed Himuro.

"Indeed, it was."

"I'll have to thank Kuroko for the recommendation." the Seirin player commented as he stood up from the sofa to take out the DVD and turn on the light, making Himuro wince at the sudden brightness.

"Yes, it was a good idea." he said, for lack of anything else to reply.

"Anyway, I haven't prepared the spare room yet." Kagami went on, putting the DVD back into its case. "Can you fetch some sheets and a blanket in the cupboard in my room?"

Himuro's pulse had started to accelerate, no matter how much he willed it to calm down. He took in a deep breath, and stepped closer to the younger teen.

"Taiga," he called out the name softly, "I told you earlier there was still one last thing for me to teach you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." Kagami replied, visibly intrigued by his tone.

"Now is the time for you to learn."

"Now? Isn't it kinda late? Can't you do it tomorrow morning?"

The Yosen player smiled and shook his head.

"Now is the perfect time. Tomorrow will be too late."

In the face of Kagami's questioning gaze, Himuro couldn't help but sigh with a resigned smile. His hand reached to Kagami's cheek in a gentle caress, his eyes staring straight into confused ones. He felt Kagami warm up at the touch, looking clearly clueless as for what was happening.

"There is a last step for you to take before I can let you go without any worries." he said quietly, his thumb hovering Kagami's lower lip.

"A l-last step?" the latter asked uneasily with a gulp.

Himuro nodded. While he was trying his best to keep his tone unwavering, his mind was the current ground for a hard struggle between himself and himself. For days he had planned this, though countless times had he given up for the sole sake of keeping his dear brother's integrity; now the battle between his conscience and emotions was more forceful than ever. The object of his desire was there, within reach, at his mercy. It would be easy to make his move, he simply needed to pretend it was for training's sake. Taiga trusted him, he would follow along if he was convinced it was for his own good.

It was where his conscience kicked in. Hadn't he abused that very same trust enough already? If he cherished Kagami so much, wouldn't it be the best option to give up on him now, before he did something he would regret for the rest of his life? After all, Kagami had already made his choice, and his choice wasn't Himuro. Therefore there was no need to further this masquerade anymore. It would only end up hurting him even more.

"Tatsuya?" Kagami called, a hint of uncertainty in his tone. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing." Himuro shook his head. "I was just thinking about how much you've grown."

"What's with that all of a sudden?"

Yet instead of an answer, the dark-haired male stood on the tip of his toes and connected his lips with Kagami's. There was half a second of resistance from the taller teen, probably due to being caught off guard, but no other complaint was emitted. Himuro's free hand then slipped slowly under Kagami's shirt, making the latter tense up at the touch. Truth be told, he wasn't much more relaxed himself, even though it wasn't the first time he touched someone that way. But it was the first time with Kagami. Getting bolder at the redhead's seemingly absence of rejection, he let his hand roam a bit higher on Kagami's chest, feeling with delight the lines of each muscle under his fingers, and farther on, the cold touch of Kagami's ring.

This time however, Kagami grabbed the wandering hand and broke the kiss, flushed.

"Tatsuya, wait." he managed to articulate despite the rather dazed state he was in.

"What is it?" Himuro asked gently. Kagami wasn't going to step down now, was he? He felt the pace of his heartbeat increase, and for a few seconds he stopped breathing. What if Kagami really rejected him? What if he saw through his real intentions? _'It would be better that way.'_ Himuro thought bitterly. It would be better, for it would prevent him from falling any further into that ridiculous farce that was bound to end with an indelible wound.

"It's just... you're... you're acting a bit strangely today." Kagami replied, as red as ever, though he made no gesture to push the Yosen player away.

"Taiga..." the latter sighed. It was with his eyes locked on Kagami and a knot in the throat that he uttered the next words: "If you want me to stop, just tell me now and I'll stop."

"Well, I..." Kagami bit his lower lip, flinching a bit under Himuro's gaze, and fell silent.

Something snapped inside of the shorter teen.

"Taiga. Look at me. Please." he commanded, though without raising his tone. As Kagami complied, he went on: "When you love someone, you cannot afford to love them half-heartedly. Now make up your mind already. I will not believe that you still don't get what I'm trying to teach you now, even if it's you. I know you aren't that clueless. Am I wrong?"

He watched patiently as Kagami widened his eyes before looking away again. He gulped and opened his mouth as if to answer something, though no word came out. Only a few seconds had passed, but it felt like an entire minute to Himuro. And then finally, against all hope, a pair of deep red eyes met his again, and what he read in them made his heart jolt.

Acceptance.

He waited for Kagami to say something, hardly containing the sudden excitement surging in him. And say something the taller teen did.

"I get it, Tatsuya." he almost whispered. "I do."

"Will you let me show you then?" Himuro asked softly, his hand stroking Kagami's cheek in encouragement. His heart was now pounding against his ribcage, and he could tell that Kagami wasn't in such a different state.

And when the latter finally nodded silently, Himuro kissed him again. No words were pronounced when they moved to the bedroom, hand in hand and both impatient and nervous at the same time. However, Kagami emitted a sound of surprise when he found himself pushed on the bed with Himuro on top of him.

"W-Wait, Tatsuya."

"Yes?"

"Isn't it supposed to be... you know... the other way around?" he finished almost inaudibly, and Himuro saw him blush deeply in embarrassment, despite the darkness in which the room was plunged.

"I know I've always told you to pretend I'm your girlfriend," Himuro smiled, "but you need to be showed first how things are done. Don't worry, Taiga, I'll teach you properly." he added as he bent to kiss Kagami on his forehead.

He could feel the redhead panic, yet he was utterly pleased when the latter nodded again, trusting the one he had always admired until the end.

There was no turning back now. Himuro mercilessly stifled the tiny voice in his head that was still protesting against it, choosing to release instead the desire he had kept locked for so long inside him. What followed was but sheer instinct; each gesture, each movement, each whisper was passion-driven, rendering any thinking useless. They were perhaps sometimes clumsy, sometimes awkward, but they'd just chuckle it away and try again. Himuro could hardly believe what was happening. The one he had always been yearning after from a distance was finally surrendering to him, willing and welcoming the embrace without restraint. The pace was slow, for he wished for the night to drag on and on, eternally if that was ever possible; unfortunately, he knew that the word 'eternity' wasn't meant for human beings, therefore he made sure to carve permanently in his mind every minute, every second of this night. He wanted everlasting memories of the way Taiga was clinging to him, of each of his gasps, of every time he called his name with a pleasure-filled voice, of his perfect body laid bare just for him, of how they joined feverishly into one over and over again in the middle of rustles of sheets and soft cries.

Himuro's hunger never seemed to be sated, no matter how he fed on Kagami; on the contrary, it was growing more and more, driving both boys to the limits of exhaustion. He didn't care, and Kagami wasn't emitting any complaint. And so they went on eagerly, fervently, almost desperately, drowning themselves in a bliss they had never experienced and forgetting everything about teaching and pretence.

However, time didn't wait for anyone and the night had to fatally come to an end. Both boys were locked in each other's embrace, panting and sweating like after a match. Their matching rings were still hanging around their necks. Himuro brought a hand to Kagami's messy hair, stroking it slowly and absent-mindedly. He envied the younger teen for being able to fall asleep so quickly and peacefully like that. Like someone who had been yanked away too soon from a pleasurable dream, he once again fell prey to familiar torments.

It hurt. He had just obtained what he desired most in the world, and yet it hurt. It hurt because in one day Kagami wouldn't be his anymore. In one day he would leave his side for the sake of another person's happiness. Where would that leave him?

Kuroko Tetsuya had been wrong all along. Kagami didn't feel a thing for him. At least, he didn't feel what he wanted him to feel. And he had been a fool to cling until the last second to the Phantom player's words. He should have known better than to even hope for anything.

"Tatsuya, are you cold?" Kagami's drowsy voice snatched him out of his unpleasant thoughts.

"I thought you were sleeping." Himuro commented, slightly taken off guard.

"I wasn't. So, are you cold? You're shaking a bit. I'll pull the blanket over." the redhead decided, following his words with action.

"Thank you." Himuro nestled himself closer to Kagami's warm body. "We should really try to get some sleep. School starts in a few hours." he added with a sigh, glancing at the luminous numbers on Kagami's alarm clock.

"You're right."

The Yosen player closed his eyes, doubting that the few hours of sleep he'd get would soothe him in any way.

* * *

Kagami couldn't fall asleep. He simply couldn't. Not after such a night. Himuro's soft and regular breathing against his bare chest indicated that there was at least someone here who didn't share the same troubles as him. He wasn't exactly sure how things had ended up like this, to be honest. At first, he had thought that it would just be a nice evening in company of his closest friend, watching a cool movie and then maybe talk a bit about basketball before going to sleep.

But then Himuro had started to act funny. Maybe it was an automatic defensive mechanism, but Kagami had primarily stubbornly refused to understand what was going on. All this time he had felt comfortable and secure with how Himuro had been leading things; the latter had always showed a great deal of patience with him, even at his most clueless moments, but not this time. This time, he had driven him into a corner and left him with two choices: follow him or stay behind.

The situation was very similar to playing basketball against a member of the Generation of Miracles, and therefore the answer was also no different: when pushed to a wall, the only way out was to move forward.

So he had moved forward, yielding to Himuro's invitation.

And now his mind was a mess.

No matter how much he tried to convince himself that what they had done was fore the mere sake of teaching him, he couldn't help but feel that he was missing something really huge. His arms wrapped unconsciously tighter around the shorter male's frame. Should he even be holding the one he called 'brother' in such a way? Worse, should he have let himself be held by that very same brother?

Unless… unless the bond that was joining them wasn't really one of brotherhood anymore. Then, how was he supposed to call it? What did the rings around their necks mean now?

No answer came to him, much to his annoyance.

With a mental sigh, he closed his eyes, trying to empty his head. In a few hours, he'd go to school, meet the girl and give her his answer. In a few hours, he'd finally be able to put everything that he had learnt into practice.

And somehow, for some reason, he didn't rejoice as much as he should have.

* * *

When Kagami opened his eyes again, the first thing he noticed was that he was alone in the bed; however, the faint noise he could hear from behind the closed door reassured him immediately on Himuro's whereabouts. Though hardly able to stand up – because of the lack of sleep and another reason – he still managed to put on some clothes and get out of the room.

As expected, the Yosen player as in the living room, fully dressed and... ready to leave? The latter raised his eyes as he saw Kagami step in, and greeted him with a smile:

"Good morning, Taiga. I'm sorry, I didn't ask for your permission to use your kitchen, but I left your breakfast over there." he said, motioning to the table where rice, scrambled eggs, fish and stir-fried vegetables were laid.

Because his mind was still in a foggy state, it took him a few seconds to register Himuro's words.

"Oh, uh, thanks." he managed to reply after a while. "Wait, you're leaving now?"

"I have to go back to the dorm to drop my stuff and get changed before going to school." the other teen replied. "I'm borrowing your clothes again but I'll give them back once I wash them."

"Uh, OK."

"I'll be leaving, then." There was a pause. Then: "Good luck."

Again, there was a delay before Kagami understood what Himuro was talking about. His eyes widened when he finally did, but Himuro was already walking towards the door, apparently taking his silence as a dismissal sign.

"Wait, Tatsuya!" Kagami hurried after him and grabbed him by the wrist, eliciting a surprised reaction from Himuro.

Their eyes met, and for the span of a second Kagami was about as startled as the other teen. Startled, because of the distress he saw reflected in Himuro's eyes. It was a mere flash, but Kagami was certain he hadn't been mistaken. He opened his mouth but his brain was drawing a blank as for what to say.

"I really have to go before I'm late." Himuro let out with strange weariness, turning his head away and pulling his wrist back with no effort.

"It's just that... it feels kinda strange for you to leave just like that." Kagami replied uneasily. He disliked that kind of awkward atmosphere, and he disliked it even more when Himuro was involved. They were brothers, everything between them was supposed to be transparent, wasn't it?

The shooting guard sighed. "Sorry, it's just that I don't want to be late for school. That's why I have to hurry. Anyway, I hope everything will be all right for you. I'll... call you later."

As he was about to leave though, hesitation painted on his face; turning back to Kagami, he gently prompted him to lower his head and gave him a kiss on the forehead. The next second, he was there no more, leaving a rather befuddled redhead behind.

Kagami was normally not one to possess great intuition, yet this time, his intuition told him that Himuro wasn't telling him everything. And what had that pained expression of his meant? Had he done something wrong? If so, why hadn't Himuro told him anything?

He tousled his hair, clicking his tongue of annoyance. Today was the big day. He was supposed to be at the best of his shape and yet here he was, having hardly slept and his thoughts in complete disarray. _'First, eat. Then, think.'_

After a short trip to the bathroom to freshen up, he headed for the table where the various dishes were waiting for him, still hot. He didn't remember having ever tried Himuro's cooking before, and he regretted the fact right on the first bite. Though simple, the dishes were truly tasty. _'Damn him. Next time he comes here, I'll let him cook.'_ he thought, before remembering that he had no clue when 'next time' would be. Starting today, the one he'd invite to his place wouldn't be Himuro anymore. The one he'd hang out with most of the time wouldn't he Himuro anymore. The one he'd kiss wouldn't be Himuro anymore.

And suddenly his chest tightened, and he realized that something was terribly wrong with him. For the first time, a new, pernicious thought surfaced in his mind; a thought he had never wanted to pay attention to.

He wanted Himuro Tatsuya back.

But now it was too late, wasn't it? And what about _her?_ He couldn't simply show up and turn her down just like that. Guilt seized him at the mere thought of it. From the little he had seen and the few glimpses he had caught of her, she was sweet, kind, and above all, she had been willing to wait for him while other girls would have probably just given up and found someone else, as Himuro had observed. He would not easily find another girl like her.

And yet, whenever he tried to picture her face, her long brown hair would find itself shortening and darkening, her green pupils would slowly shift to grey and her round features would sharpen a bit more to turn into an entirely different person. Then those eyes would look at him with affliction.

Kagami shook his head. He was tired and he lacked sleep, it was why he wasn't able to think clearly. Still, the queer gaze Himuro had had before they parted was bothering him to no end.

He wanted his Tatsuya back.

But the feeling was probably not mutual. After all, the only reason Himuro had agreed to help him was because they were childhood friends and, in a way, brothers. Why else would he have gone through all the trouble of teaching him, if not for that reason? But then again, he had gone far beyond what Kagami had expected in terms of teaching, and the Seirin player found himself blushing madly again as glimpses of their past night together came back to him: Tatsuya's gentle caresses leaving trails of fire on his skin, his lips wandering in places he'd never have imagined possible, their bodies entwined together, moving together until his mind was but blankness.

Himuro didn't have to go that far for his sake, and yet he had.

Why?

_When you love someone, you cannot afford to love them half-heartedly._

Kagami jumped. At first, he hadn't paid further attention to those simple words, that obvious statement that had been pronounced; but now it came back in full force, hitting him straight at his face. It couldn't… it couldn't be… right? Given his natural awful perception of human feelings, he wasn't quite certain yet of what the cogs of his brain were trying to make him realize, though a tiny, remote part of him already knew.

It was simply so huge that he had completely – and ironically – missed it all along. However, understanding it didn't mean he was out of trouble, far from that. Until now, it had been so easy. There was only one straight path in front of him, leading to that girl. But now, a new one was progressively tracing itself, more devious, less distinct and definitely not within Kagami's calculations. And he still wasn't positive where that one was leading to. Which path was he supposed to follow? The easy, straight and safe one, or…

Choices were a tremendous hassle, Kagami reflected as he angrily shoved a piece of fish into his mouth. Then he put down his chopsticks on the table and sighed loudly, gazing for several minutes at the dishes without really seeing them. After a while, he shut his eyes tight. Slowly, two people took shape in his mind, standing in front of him and holding out their hands to him. And here he was, not knowing which one to reach for. He tried reaching for the first one; he felt sympathy, kindness emanating from that person, and yet it left him with a bitter taste at the back of his throat and an aching void in the pit of his stomach. He tried reaching for the second one, and the bitterness and the ache were no more.

When Kagami opened his eyes, hesitation left place to resolve. There was only one possible path for him, and Kuroko was right: he was an utter idiot for not having realized it earlier.

Wolfing down his breakfast, he hurried to get ready for school.

* * *

Himuro had left his phone turned off for the entire day, to resist the urge of sending any message to Kagami. Later, he told himself. He'd inquire about Kagami's new girlfriend later. Maybe.

The bell rang the end of classes and already, most students were chatting happily among themselves to discuss about tonight's plans. The Yosen shooting guard was in no mood for that. Grabbing his back, he headed mechanically back to the dorms, hardly paying any attention to his surroundings. If someone called his name, he didn't hear it.

Nevertheless, at some point he glanced by luck – or was it intuition? – to the school gates and frowned. Behind the stream of uniformed boys and girls flowing out, he easily spotted a taller redheaded figure. His chest tightened at the sight. What was _he_ doing here? He should be in a café, in a park, anywhere with that girl but here! The distance and the crowd prevented Himuro from determining whether Kagami was accompanied or not. Maybe that idiotic little brother of his had brought her here to introduce her to him. Great. It was the last thing Himuro needed.

Torn between curiosity and complete refusal to meet with Kagami, he eventually picked the latter option. Turning away from the school entrance, he strode towards the dorms, shutting out the annoying voice in his head that kept nagging him about his stubbornness.

Too bad not everything could go as smoothly as he wanted; a few seconds later, a familiar voice called out his name:

"Muro-chiiin~" a certain purple-haired teen drawled, catching up with Himuro in no time.

"Atsushi." the shorter male greeted him with his characteristic smile.

"You're not gonna go?"

"Go where?" Himuro cocked an eyebrow. Murasakibara vaguely gestured towards the school gates.

"He's here today too. You didn't see him?" he asked, sounding as uninterested as usual.

Himuro tensed up automatically. "… I did."

If the Yosen ace found his answer strange, he didn't press it. It was one of the reasons Himuro enjoyed Murasakibara's company: the teen was too childish to bother with grown-ups' matters.

"Hmmm… He's coming over here." the latter commented as he produced a bag of crisps from his schoolbag.

Himuro jumped, immediately checking the veracity of his friend's words. Indeed, it wasn't hard to spot a redhead walking against the flow and heading towards him, unaccompanied. He was tempted for a second to pretend he hadn't seen him and hurry back to the dorms, but how would he explain that to Kagami? With a sigh of exasperation, he resigned himself to face his little brother.

"Tatsuya!" the latter called as he got closer, visibly flushed by a bit of sprinting. He gave a short nod at Murasakibara who merely picked another handful of crisps and shoved them in his mouth.

"What are you doing here, Taiga? You shouldn't be within our school grounds, especially when there are still so many people around." Himuro declared flatly, his tone as detached as possible.

"Well, you weren't answering your phone at all, even after I left you four messages." Kagami replied, scratching his head.

"My phone ran out of batteries this morning."

"Oh, OK."

"What do you need, Taiga? I don't have all day." the dark-haired male urged, slightly annoyed.

"Well, huh…" Kagami hesitated, glancing towards Murasakibara who seemed completely oblivious to the situation.

Taking the hint, Himuro patted his teammate's arm.

"Atsushi, could you go back first? I won't be long."

"Hm? OK." the latter shrugged and walked away with indifference. As he did so, Himuro turned back to Kagami:

"I'm listening."

And listen he did. And the words he heard were ones he hadn't even hoped would ever come out of Kagami's mouth. The words he heard made him stare at the Seirin power forward with round and incredulous eyes, they made his legs wobble and his heart race and pound heavily against his chest, they made him stand speechless like an idiot; and they finally made him lace both his arms tightly around Kagami's neck, not caring the least bit about the queer looks they were receiving from the students around them.

And he whispered back words at Kagami's ear, a genuine smile on his lips, overwhelmed with bliss as the taller teen returned the embrace clumsily and nestled his face in Himuro's neck.

As the Yosen player held Kagami's deep red cheeks between his hands and pressed his lips to his, he formed an apologetic thought to Murasakibara to whom he had promised to have dinner with.

That'd have to be postponed.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: And that was the last chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! I'll confess it wasn't the easiest pairing to write, but hey, I like a bit of challenge.**


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